Every morning, I find myself coaxing my children into their car seats as we embark on our daily commute to preschool and kindergarten. During this journey, we typically enjoy the upbeat sounds of popular music, happily singing along to whatever is playing. I don’t focus on the lyrics too much; my kids are young enough that they often misinterpret them or miss the more adult themes entirely. At home, our dance parties include a mix of songs, some of which may have suggestive undertones, and I’ve even mistakenly created a CD for daycare featuring explicit tracks instead of radio edits (not my finest parenting moment).
Despite my generally relaxed attitude towards song lyrics, one particular track that has been climbing the charts raises my eyebrows each time I hear it, which seems to be quite often. The lyrics go something like this:
Gonna wear that dress you like, skin-tight
Do my hair up real, real nice
And syncopate my skin to your heart beating
‘Cause I just wanna look good for you, good for you
I just wanna look good for you, good for you
Let me show you how proud I am to be yours
Leave this dress a mess on the floor
And still look good for you, good for you
– “Good For You” by Maria Thompson
What is it about this song that bothers me when I usually brush off others that celebrate partying or casual relationships? The answer lies in the message conveyed: while those other songs may not exemplify the best values, they often depict the singer as confident and self-assured.
When I reflect on the perspective of the singer in “Good For You,” the implications become troubling:
- The effort put forth is not self-directed.
- Her appearance is overly prioritized for someone else’s approval.
- Her self-worth seems diminished, relying on external validation.
As I consider the world my daughter will navigate, she will undoubtedly encounter countless messages regarding beauty standards, many of which can be unhealthy. She already enjoys dressing up and pretending to be older than she is, which I encourage as long as she maintains her spirited personality. I believe it’s essential for her to enjoy these experiences without feeling constrained by societal expectations.
In stark contrast, the song by Maria Thompson promotes the idea of conforming to another’s standards of beauty. It positions the singer as an accessory, valuing others’ perceptions over her own. The recurring line, “just wanna look good for you,” suggests that her self-worth is tied to someone else’s opinion, which is a narrative I want to challenge.
This pervasive theme in media is one I hope my children can recognize and question. My goal is to foster their self-confidence so that it surpasses any societal notions of beauty. I want my daughter to understand that if she chooses to invest in her appearance, it should be for her own enjoyment—not for someone else’s satisfaction. Similarly, I hope my son grows to appreciate that a confident woman who embraces her true self is the most attractive kind.
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In summary, it’s crucial to be aware of the messages we and our children encounter regarding beauty and self-worth. By fostering a healthy sense of self in our children, we can empower them to define their own standards and appreciate their individuality.
Keyphrase: self-esteem in children
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