When it comes to names, “John” may seem straightforward. However, my experience has shown that it can lead to confusion. People often expect a name like Jon, Juan, or even Jaan, but when I introduce myself as John, many struggle to accept it. Surprisingly, I have encountered variations like “Jhon,” which leaves me baffled.
This phenomenon occurs frequently. People see my appearance, and their minds jump to conclusions, seemingly unable to reconcile my name with their preconceived notions. It’s as if their brains are interpreting the information incorrectly, leading them to believe that I must have an “ethnic” name. As a result, I often find myself answering questions about the spelling of my name. The typical response? “How do you spell that?”
The urge to respond sarcastically is strong, but I maintain my composure and spell it out. Yet the questioning doesn’t stop there. The follow-up is often, “But that’s not your real name, right?” In fact, it is my real name. My parents, immigrants from Egypt, chose this name strategically, wanting me to fit in seamlessly in a new country. They aimed to shield me from potential ridicule that might come with a more culturally specific name, much like my friend Amir, who faced teasing in school due to his less common name.
My parents’ intentions were good; they aspired for their children to have opportunities in America. They thought that giving me a familiar name would help me blend in and succeed. My father often reminded me that I could achieve anything, even becoming president one day. I can only imagine the conversation that led to my name choice: perhaps my father woke up one night, realizing that “Nasser Gindy” wouldn’t quite cut it in a land where John was the norm. So, they chose John, believing it would spare me any trouble.
While their decision seemed wise at the time, it has not spared me from the constant questions and disbelief. Interestingly, my brothers, named Steve and Andrew, do not face the same scrutiny, nor does my wife, whose name is Nora. It makes me wonder if their less pronounced features play a role in how their names are perceived.
Ultimately, names carry significant weight, and while my parents aimed for acceptance, it doesn’t change how others perceive me. Sometimes, I contemplate changing my name to something more conventional. Yet, I wonder if that would really make a difference in how I am seen.
For those exploring the journey of parenthood, particularly through home insemination, resources like Make a Mom provide valuable insights. Additionally, Resolve is an excellent source for understanding various family-building options.
Summary
Naming a child is a significant decision for immigrant parents, as it can impact their experiences and perceptions in a new country. The choice of a common name like “John” may seem practical but can lead to confusion and misinterpretation. Ultimately, the name doesn’t change how individuals are viewed, reflecting broader societal biases.
Keyphrase: immigrant names and identity
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