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Parenting
I Notice You Observing
by Jessica Lane
Updated: Aug. 20, 2023
Originally Published: July 17, 2021
I notice you there, quietly shaking your head in disapproval as my son engages in a debate with me in the middle of a crowded café. I see you grimacing and rolling your eyes when my son doesn’t conform to the behaviors that society deems acceptable in public spaces. I observe you instructing your child to avoid interacting with mine, believing he is troublesome, disrespectful, or simply a bad influence.
My son remains blissfully unaware of your scrutiny. He is too engrossed in his own world to be affected by the opinions of others. But I, on the other hand, am acutely aware of the judgment etched on your face.
Do you truly think I can’t see you? Do you assume that my affection for my child is somehow diminished because he is different? Do you believe that your child and you are superior because you don’t face the same challenges that we do?
It takes immense restraint for me to hold my tongue when I witness your judgment. I yearn to confront you publicly and declare, “I see you! I see the way you’re judging us!” Yet, unlike my son, I hesitate to create a scene. More importantly, he hasn’t noticed you yet, and I would prefer he never does. I wish for him to remain oblivious to the fact that some individuals judge him, finding him deficient in some way. He is perfectly content with who he is, blissfully unaware of any perceived shortcomings. I hope to preserve that innocence for as long as possible.
Every individual has their own set of challenges; perfection is merely an illusion. Perhaps your flaw lies in your tendency to judge others.
There is so much about my child that you overlook. You don’t see the boundless love he has for me, without conditions or reservations. You fail to recognize his fierce loyalty and protectiveness toward those he cares about, and how heartbroken he would be to know that your actions have upset me. You overlook his academic achievements and the pride he takes in his studies. You don’t see the frustration he sometimes causes me, yet he is still my child, and I love him fiercely, just as he loves me.
You miss the humor he brings into our lives, his unique perspective on the world often bringing me to tears of laughter. You don’t see that he experiences emotions more deeply than most, both joy and pain.
No, you don’t see any of this because you choose not to. Your focus is solely on the fact that he speaks a bit too loudly for your liking, or that he is distracted by a speck of lint on his shirt when he should be attentive. You judge him as a “bad kid,” deem him unintelligent, and dismiss him as unworthy of your consideration.
Well, guess what? You are not worthy of my respect either.
He is genuine, he is sincere, and he refrains from judging others. He embodies empathy, compassion, and cares deeply for those around him. He strives to be the best version of himself and does not waste time looking down on others. Instead, he embraces life and every experience that comes his way.
Don’t you wish you could say the same? For more insights on navigating the journey of parenthood and family planning, check out this helpful resource for home insemination kits, and for information on enhancing fertility, visit this page. For those seeking further guidance in fertility, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while judgment from others can be disheartening, it is essential to remember the unique qualities and strengths that each child possesses. Every individual deserves understanding and kindness, regardless of their differences.
Keyphrase: Parenting and Judgment
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