Starting a family as a same-sex couple turned out to be more challenging than my partner Jamie and I had anticipated. Before we could even begin the process of trying to conceive, we faced numerous questions that complicated our journey.
To give you some background, Jamie and I have been together since college. We celebrated our love with a private ceremony in 2000, long before same-sex marriage was legalized. We then had a civil ceremony in 2005 when local authorities began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, only to have those marriages nullified shortly after. Finally, in 2013, we were able to legally marry once and for all. With such a unique beginning, it was no surprise that our family planning journey would be equally complex.
For many heterosexual couples, the choice to have a baby can be as straightforward as having “The Talk” and stopping birth control. For us, there were many factors to consider. First, we had to decide who would carry the baby. Since we were both healthy and had the necessary anatomy, we decided to each carry one child. I would go first.
Next came the crucial question: where would we find sperm? It sounds simple, but it’s actually a bit tricky. We considered asking a friend at first, but quickly realized that could lead to complications down the line. Random encounters were definitely not an option for us. So we turned to a sperm bank.
Let me tell you, using a sperm donor is far more involved than what you see on TV. We had numerous discussions about how our decision would affect our future kids. Did we want them to meet the donor? If yes, how would that shape our family dynamics? Thankfully, there are resources available, such as the Make a Mom website, which provides at-home insemination options, including a reusable kit. Plus, they have a how it works page that explains the process in detail.
During our research, we also discovered a useful community group on Facebook, Make a Mom, for sperm donor matching. It’s a great place for couples like us to connect and share experiences.
As we prepared for this exciting journey, we also came across valuable information regarding insemination techniques. For instance, the success rate of intrauterine insemination (IUI) can be found on WebMD, which can help guide our decision-making.
Throughout this process, we’ve made it a point to stay informed about health considerations as well. For instance, if you’re curious about whether pregnant women should still receive the COVID-19 vaccine, you can find detailed insights on our blog here.
In summary, while our path to parenthood has been filled with twists and turns, we’re excited to embrace the adventure ahead. With careful planning and a supportive community, we believe we can navigate these challenges together, making our dream of having a family a reality.