My child’s desk is a veritable museum of unmerited trophies. Okay, “museum” might be an exaggeration, but many kids today boast a comparable collection of awards, medals, and certificates simply for participating. By the time my child concluded their elementary education, they had an impressive array of accolades that might give the impression they were the best kid in the world.
To clarify, my child was not the star athlete. They actually asked their coach if they could sit out due to discomfort in their uniform, and during the community soccer tournament, they stumbled over the ball a few too many times for an 8-year-old. Nevertheless, they possess trophies that attest to their participation in sports.
While there are indeed young athletes who excel and rightfully earn their trophies, it seems increasingly common for kids to receive accolades simply for showing up. I wholeheartedly support nurturing my child’s self-esteem. Did I ever roll my eyes when they struck out in baseball? Absolutely not! Like any loving parent, I offered encouragement, saying, “Great effort!” even if it was clear they weren’t the most athletic.
I believe in recognizing effort. However, if there were an award for excessive self-confidence, my child would undoubtedly take the gold. Yet, the notion of giving out trophies merely for participation isn’t aligned with my views on fostering true self-worth.
If your child hasn’t truly earned a trophy, why present them with one? Does this practice genuinely enhance their self-esteem, or does it convey that mediocrity is acceptable? Are we creating a generation that feels entitled to recognition for simply showing up? For instance, a colleague of mine in academia has received multiple emails from parents questioning why their exceptionally bright children didn’t achieve an A in her course. Perhaps it’s because they didn’t earn it.
I want my child to understand that they cannot simply coast through life and expect accolades for minimal effort. It’s essential that they learn the value of hard work and earning achievements based on their own merit. Imagine if adult life operated on the principle that everyone receives a trophy; applying for a dream job could become as simple as just showing up, or gaining acceptance into a prestigious PhD program could be guaranteed for all.
This isn’t to say we shouldn’t support our children or encourage their participation in various activities. The next time your child feels upset because another peer received recognition that they didn’t, calmly explain that not everyone can win every time. Sure, that shiny trophy may glimmer enticingly, but earning one for mere attendance doesn’t truly motivate your child to strive for success. I love my child dearly and only wish for their best future.
I certainly don’t want to be in a position, years from now, where I have to contact their professors about grades. Instead, I hope they grasp the importance of effort in achieving their aspirations.
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In summary, while it’s crucial to support our children, we must also teach them that true achievements come from dedication and hard work, not just participation.
Keyphrase: “importance of earning achievements”
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