While I have never been the most punctual individual, parenthood has introduced an array of novel justifications for my tardiness to meetings, school events, parties, and appointments. Previously, my excuses revolved around typical scenarios—like a bad hair day or unexpected traffic. However, now that I am managing my own chaotic schedule while trying to corral my kids, my reasons for being late have transformed into something far more entertaining.
Apologies for my lateness, but…
- My daughter insists her socks are “out to get her.”
- Just as we were leaving, both children urgently needed to use the bathroom.
- I lost my keys… only to discover they were in my pocket the whole time.
- My kids were engaged in a heated debate over seating arrangements.
- My son opted to engage in a wrestling match with our dog instead of heading out, necessitating a frantic cleanup of fur from his clothes.
- It appeared that every shoe in the house had lost its pair.
- One child chose that moment to inquire about the origins of babies.
- A wardrobe mishap resulted in wet underwear, requiring an unexpected bath.
- My son scraped his knee while making his way to the car.
- A sudden thirst meant we had to stop for drinks and snacks, leaving us less hungry for our lunch meeting.
- Despite my multiple announcements that it was time to leave, no one seemed to hear me.
- My daughter had a breakdown over an incident from days ago, which was just terrible timing.
- The kids argued about who is loved more by the dog.
- A question about puberty came up at the most inopportune time.
- I searched high and low for my phone only to find it was in my hand.
- My son developed a fever right as we were heading out the door.
- Our dog, who had just been outside, decided to have an accident indoors.
- My son made an unfortunate discovery of the dog’s mess with his foot.
- The kids quarreled over which radio station I should listen to.
- My son suddenly remembered he had forgotten to complete his homework.
- One child found it necessary to ask me about sexual orientation.
- My daughter changed outfits a staggering 13 times in search of the perfect look for a casual outing.
- The kids collided while trying to enter the car.
- My son complained of an elbow injury right before we departed.
- A lengthy argument ensued over whose tongue was the longest.
- My daughter insisted an old cut needed a fresh bandage, leading to a search for a nonexistent wound.
- I couldn’t locate my glasses, only to realize they were perched on my head.
- My daughter took the time to create a drawing for you, and you better appreciate it!
- A long-forgotten stuffed animal went missing just as we were leaving, leading to a full-blown search operation.
- My son managed to fall out of the car while attempting to get in.
- One of my kids went missing, only to be found patiently waiting in the car.
- My daughter realized she had forgotten to wear underwear and was in a skirt.
- My daughter complained that her fingernail was itchy.
This article was originally published on April 4, 2014.
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In summary, the reasons for a mother’s lateness often extend beyond mere forgetfulness or poor timing; they encapsulate the chaotic and humorous realities of family life. Understanding these dynamics can foster empathy and connection among parents navigating similar experiences.
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