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Parenting
The Burden of a Mother’s Affection
by Julia Carter
Updated: May 23, 2016
Originally Published: January 26, 2014
Greetings, Mother.
Though we have yet to meet, I feel a connection with you. I’ve traveled a similar path (albeit at a slower pace, so my little one could keep up). I’ve used your baby carrier, experiencing the discomfort as my growing child pressed against my hips and shoulders. I’ve navigated your car, packed with hefty car seats, strollers, toys, diaper bags, sippy cups, and scattered Cheerios. I’ve shared your bed, waking frequently to nurse, comfort, chase away nightmares, or simply ensure my maternal presence was felt.
I understand the highs and lows of your love.
That love—oh, what a profound feeling it is. At times, it can feel overwhelming, can’t it? The love, coupled with worry. The love, intertwined with frustration. The love, accompanied by exhaustion. Love carries weight, Mother. It’s dense, all-consuming, awe-inspiring, and at times, daunting. It’s uplifting, life-affirming, cherished, and sacred. A mother’s love is complex; it’s a monumental treasure trove filled with priceless gems. Yet, it is not light, nor is it simple. You cannot experience that love without the accompanying weight; they are intertwined.
However, these formative years, Mother—they will fortify you. The strength you cultivate now will enable you to navigate challenges you cannot yet foresee. That love is substantial and burdensome, but believe me when I say you will bear it across uncharted territories. You will traverse turbulent waters with it anchored to your heart. It will guide you to unexpected destinations—places of awe, enchantment, and even fear. These years are equipping you, honing your strength and endurance to carry that love through any circumstance, always.
I recognize the difficulties, often overwhelming. Yet, I also know the beauty that accompanies those challenges. While I cannot claim to know everything, I assure you that motherhood is a tapestry of highs and lows—light and shadow, joy and sorrow, calm seas and stormy weather. And throughout it all—always—there is that love. That weighty, remarkable vessel brimming with beauty, hope, and vulnerability. It won’t become lighter, but you will grow stronger, I promise.
I understand it’s tough at times, but don’t long for another phase, don’t wish for a different season, don’t assume there will come a time when this love won’t test you. I won’t instruct you to cherish these days simply because they are fleeting, but I want you to recognize that when these moments feel burdensome—that’s love preparing you to keep carrying it. It’s challenging. So incredibly challenging. But your capacity for strength is far greater than you realize. Motherhood will reveal this to you, if it hasn’t already. The struggle is a hidden blessing.
And then there is joy—thank goodness for joy. It’s the most potent tool in parenting when harnessed appropriately. Seize each joyful moment and hold it close until it seeps into your very essence. You may not encounter joy in every instance of motherhood, but immerse yourself in those that you do. Joyful moments serve as the mechanisms that ease the burden of carrying that love.
And remember to seek out other mothers who understand the weight of this love. Share your experiences, discuss the beauty within it, and acknowledge the challenges of carrying it. It’s essential to recognize both the beauty and the struggle. It is not meant to be easy. We can support each other by celebrating our joys, reinforcing our strengths, and affirming one another with, “Yes, I get it. This is tough.” On days when our own love feels like it’s sliding away, we can offer our strength to a fellow mother who is struggling to lift hers. We need one another, Mother. Each and every one of us.
Reflecting on my early motherhood, I’m overwhelmed with emotion. Those little ones are so innocent, their futures limitless, and the love I feel for them is filled with wonder and concern. I recall moments when that love felt too heavy to bear. Even after years of growth, I still experience that weight occasionally. Yet, that love and I have endured much together; it has shaped my strength. Each day, I find myself growing stronger.
And you will, too. I assure you.
Carry on, Mother.
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