Life often presents us with moments of profound fear and uncertainty, shaping our experiences and ultimately influencing our decisions. Reflecting on my childhood, I recall a vivid memory that embodies this sentiment. At 12, I faced a fearsome challenge: crawling through a dark drainage tunnel, a dare from neighborhood boys. Despite my desire to impress them, I succumbed to fear and backed out. Such instances of fear continued to impact my choices throughout my teenage years and into adulthood.
When I became a parent, fear escalated to new heights. The carefree days of childhood were replaced by sleepless nights spent assuring my son that monsters were not lurking in the shadows. Concerns about his safety, health, and overall well-being loomed large. The added pressures of marital issues, financial responsibilities, and family health crises amplified my anxiety. It felt like I was back in that tunnel, longing for the safety of familiarity.
Then, my best friend, Sarah, received a life-altering diagnosis: Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, a rare bile duct disease that leads to liver failure. Shortly thereafter, she was diagnosed with bile duct cancer, which is exceedingly rare in someone her age. Her journey became a battle against a relentless illness, filled with hospital visits, painful treatments, and overwhelming fear. Sarah’s pursuit of treatment took her to Minnesota, where she underwent intensive chemotherapy and radiation, bravely stepping into the darkest places of her illness.
In the midst of this turmoil, I faced a decision that would change our lives. Sarah needed a liver transplant, and due to a scarcity of deceased donors, a living donor was her best hope. As I prepared for the possibility of donating part of my liver, I engaged in heartfelt conversations with my young son, who expressed his affection for me in his own way. He didn’t fully grasp the gravity of what lay ahead, but he certainly felt my love.
The transplant was scheduled for December 15, 2014, but complications arose during pre-surgery evaluations. I witnessed the moment when the doctors informed Sarah that her cancer had progressed, shattering our hopes. The weight of disbelief and despair enveloped me as I realized my preparations might be in vain. I had envisioned being a superhero to my children by battling cancer, but in that moment, all seemed lost.
However, in an unexpected turn of events, further pathology reports led to a reversal of the cancellation. With only 18 hours’ notice, we found ourselves preparing for the transplant after all. The night before surgery was spent in the hospital, filled with laughter and a shared understanding of the gravity of our situation. As I lay in my cot, I was reminded of that frightened 12-year-old girl—this time, I was ready to face the challenge.
On December 19, 2014, I donated 55 percent of my liver to Sarah, motivated by love and a newfound bravery. Our fears had been illuminated, revealing the strength within us both. Sarah’s journey continued, and she received a new liver, embodying a renewed spirit of fearlessness.
Two months later, during a quiet moment driving, I engaged my son in conversation. He innocently remarked that he was giving his blanket, Nee Nee, to someone in need. It struck me—this was the essence of love and kindness we all should aspire to embody.
Through this experience, I learned that fear, much like the monsters of childhood, dissipates when we illuminate our path with love and courage. My hope is that my journey as an organ donor serves as a beacon for my children, guiding them to face their own fears with resilience and strength.
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In summary, fear can be a formidable barrier, but through acts of love and courage, it becomes manageable. My experience of donating my liver has redefined my understanding of fear and empowered me to lead by example, instilling strength in my children.
Keyphrase: liver donation and overcoming fear
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