Updated: Jan. 10, 2016
Originally Published: Jan. 7, 2014
This morning marked a significant moment for me as I navigated the drop-off line at my sons’ preschool for the very first time. As I pulled away, I observed my 3-year-old, Ethan, putting on his backpack, clasping his teacher’s hand, and waving goodbye with a proud grin illuminating his face. That goodbye seemed to stretch on forever, and in an unexpected wave of emotion, I broke down in tears. I was sobbing uncontrollably—an all-out, messy cry that I doubt my partner has ever witnessed. Tears streamed down my face, creating a small puddle in my lap, leading me to enter my 10 AM therapy session looking less than composed.
Crying after dropping my children off at school is not characteristic of me. I’m not typically the sentimental type. While I am an emotional person, having three boys in quick succession (my eldest was two months shy of three when the youngest was born) left little room for sentimentality.
When my oldest son took his first steps, I was grappling with severe morning sickness during my second pregnancy. I was too ill to do anything other than feel relief that his cries would quiet down as he learned to navigate the world around him.
After dropping my firstborn off for preschool, I didn’t return to an empty house but rather took my 6-month-old home to nurse before heading out for grocery shopping. Managing one child was a refreshing change from the two I usually had in tow.
When my middle child, Liam, took his first steps, I was in the hospital battling complications from my pregnancy. By the time he was confidently walking, I was just relieved he could keep up with his older brother, which drastically reduced the whining.
As for my youngest, Noah, when he first called me “Mama,” I was overwhelmed and felt nothing—postpartum depression had drained the joy from my life, leaving me feeling vacant. I was engulfed in chaos, desperately trying to stay afloat amidst the tumult of motherhood.
However, life has gradually calmed down over the past year. Noah is now nearly 2½, and I no longer feel submerged in my circumstances. I can finally take deep, refreshing breaths, allowing me to appreciate the fleeting moments of motherhood instead of merely surviving them.
For four years, I have dropped off one, two, or all three kids at preschool without shedding a tear. While they have cried, I’ve always been the composed “I’ll see you in a bit” mom, rushing off to tackle my never-ending list of tasks. But this morning was different. My heart recognized that this time, for the first time, my kids were leaving me behind.
Feeling the weight of their little lives etched into my heart was a profound experience. My boys have grown beyond the infancy stage; they are not just learning to walk or talk anymore. They are evolving into little individuals with bright eyes and adventurous spirits, discovering their place in the world. They are learning to be independent, and in doing so, they invite me to witness the magical moments that unfold in their lives. They are asking me to engage, to observe, and to be present.
Now, I am fully present. I am learning to embrace sentimentality so that I can cherish these significant moments of growth and discovery.
For parents navigating similar journeys, understanding the importance of emotional engagement can enhance your experience. If you’re considering home insemination, resources like Johns Hopkins Medicine’s Fertility Center provide excellent insights. Additionally, exploring couples’ fertility journeys can offer support and guidance. And, if you’re looking to boost fertility, check out fertility supplements that may be beneficial.
Summary
Embracing your emotional journey as a parent can transform your experience in motherhood. Recognizing the fleeting nature of childhood helps to cultivate a deeper connection with your children, making room for sentimentality. As children grow, they invite us into their world of discovery, and being present in those moments is a gift.
Keyphrase: Embracing Sentimentality in Motherhood
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”