In our household, we rely on a single-serve coffee machine that uses little pods. While they are environmentally unfriendly, we’ve yet to decide on a more sustainable alternative. This indecision has led us to default to this machine, as we find ourselves too fatigued to explore other options. Each morning, we press the button and gratefully accept the caffeine boost, allowing us to avoid one more choice in our busy lives.
This exhaustion was particularly evident one morning when I attempted to brew coffee. It should have been a simple task, merely pressing a button. Yet, I somehow forgot to place the cup beneath the spout, resulting in a coffee spill across the counter. As I watched the dark liquid create a chaotic mess, I realized just how tired I truly am.
For years, I attributed my fatigue to my young children. Their runny noses, sleepless nights, and early wake-up calls have undeniably taken a toll on my physical energy. However, I’ve come to recognize that there is a deeper mental fatigue stemming from motherhood, which is often overlooked. This mental strain, often referred to as decision fatigue, has been a topic of increasing interest in psychological circles.
As highlighted in a recent article on Elite Daily, decision fatigue refers to the decline in decision-making ability after an extended period of making choices. Even seemingly trivial decisions can accumulate, leading to a feeling of overwhelm. I find myself so mentally drained that I forget even the simplest tasks, such as positioning the coffee cup correctly. What is the name of that machine again?
The article noted how prominent figures, such as former President Obama, simplify their wardrobes to conserve mental energy for significant decisions. This concept resonates with me. My mind is so cluttered with minor choices that I worry about my capacity to handle more consequential matters. I fear that the mental toll of daily minutiae is draining my ability to be an effective leader in my family, guiding my children with love, teaching them kindness, and preparing them to make their own decisions.
Most mornings in our home begin with a flurry of activity and endless questions from my children:
- 5:59 AM: “Can I play video games?”
- 6:02 AM: “What does the baby need?”
- 6:03 AM: “Where are my toys?”
And the list goes on, with queries about school, breakfast, and the weather. During that first hour, I estimate I make decisions for four different individuals every four minutes, leaving little time to attend to my own needs.
As I mopped up the spilled coffee, I pondered my daily attire and how it simplifies my life—opting for comfort in yoga pants and a T-shirt minimizes decision-making. Yet, more than just clothing choices, I yearn for resilience. I need to teach my children to navigate their own choices, to filter through life’s noise and determine what truly matters. My role isn’t to make decisions for them but to empower them to make their own.
In this way, I recognize that I can also learn valuable lessons through parenting. The most significant decision I make each day is to love my children enough to allow them to explore their own paths. I encourage them to find their pajamas, solve their problems, and make snack choices, fostering independence.
As we gather during Chanukah to create latkes and cherished memories, I find I have just enough energy left for what truly counts.
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In summary, the mental fatigue associated with motherhood can be overwhelming, driven by the constant barrage of decisions, both trivial and significant. By recognizing this fatigue, we can strive to foster independence in our children while also taking care of our own mental well-being.
Keyphrase: Mental Exhaustion of Motherhood
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