I arrived at Little League with all four of my children in tow and inquired with the coach about the practice schedule. I’m the mom who typically has no clue about practice times until the first day of the season. “Wednesday nights,” he replied.
“Wednesday nights?” I echoed. “You won’t be seeing me on those evenings. It’s date night. Joe, our babysitter, will be taking my place.”
“This week?” he asked.
“Nope,” I responded. “I mean every week. Wednesday night is designated as our date night.”
“Seriously?! Sounds nice,” he shot back with a hint of sarcasm.
“It’s a whole lot nicer than ending in divorce,” I replied—because it truly is.
I understand how organizing date night can appear to be an extravagant endeavor. Hiring a babysitter, applying makeup, and changing out of clothes that are speckled with food or remnants from the kids can feel like a chore. But the reality is that it requires both partners to agree on a specific night when they aren’t preoccupied with work, running errands, or managing the endless chores of family life. It can be costly, too. You have to spend on meals you could have enjoyed at home plus pay for the babysitter. The expense of childcare, even for a brief period, can accumulate quickly.
Nevertheless, I firmly believe that it’s far less expensive than the financial burden of a divorce. Date night holds significance in my marriage.
Fifteen years ago, I married a guy named Alex, and we hit it off quite well. We even met while studying art, which certainly has its charm. Back in the day, we would venture out with a loaf of bread, cheese, and a bottle of wine, hiking along rocky trails to the ocean, where we would enjoy each other’s company and discuss our dreams and aspirations.
However, life changed when we welcomed four children into our lives, taking on new responsibilities and commitments. Now, we juggle jobs, household chores, and the financial obligations of adult life. We’ve experienced 15 years together, and we’ve transformed into different individuals. Life keeps us busy, and yes, we sometimes have to navigate the realities of aging and intimacy in our routine.
To clarify, PTA meetings, children’s activities, and family gatherings do not qualify as date night. Date night is sacred; it’s a time for just the two of you, the partners who have built a life, a marriage, and a family together. It serves as a mutual covenant that prevents the need for any other contracts, like divorce papers.
Every Wednesday, I look forward to spending quality time with my husband, just the two of us. Whether we dine at a cherished restaurant with candlelight and a good bottle of wine or grab burgers from our local spot and enjoy them on the beach, it’s pure romance.
In days gone by, perhaps people didn’t feel the need for scheduled date nights. They were too busy with survival tasks, and their lifespans were significantly shorter. But in our modern world, we may have many more years ahead of us, potentially living with our partners for 80 years.
So, mark it on your calendar. Make it a priority. If hiring a babysitter strains your budget, consider swapping favors with a friend who also desires a date night. You could whip up simple sandwiches and enjoy them in the backyard with a baby monitor nearby. Whatever it takes, maintain the spirit of date night.
If we are fortunate, in 15 years, our children will be independent, pursuing their paths. And we will still have each other, hopefully maintaining our cherished date nights.
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Summary:
Establishing a regular date night is essential in maintaining the health of a marriage. It fosters connection amidst the chaos of parenting and daily responsibilities. Prioritizing this time together can strengthen relationships, ensuring couples remain connected as they navigate the complexities of family life.
Keyphrase: date night importance in marriage
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