As a parent of twins, I often hear the phrase, “Oh my goodness, TWINS! How do you manage?” My response is straightforward: A) I have no choice, and B) I lack a frame of reference since I’ve only known the experience of raising two children simultaneously.
It’s true—I can’t simply return one child or ask them to wait a few years for me to enjoy parenting an only child. Having two children the same age, each vying for my attention, is the only reality I’ve known since I embarked on this parenting journey.
This week, however, I had a glimpse into the world of most parents. My daughter, Aisling, was unwell, so I kept her at home from preschool. While her twin sister, Keira, engaged with peers, Aisling and I spent quality one-on-one time together.
Until this week, my experience with parenting multiple children left me without a solid comparison point. If someone claimed that raising one child was challenging, I would agree. If they said managing children of different ages was tough, I could easily visualize that. And if they told me that three kids were chaotic? I wouldn’t question it. My sister-in-law, who has eight children—yes, eight—often shares that she struggles to recall large chunks of her life.
Every parenting situation presents its own set of challenges. While I usually maintain an optimistic attitude about the joys of raising twins, I must admit that, after experiencing it briefly this week, parenting just one child feels remarkably easier.
Before anyone with a single child feels offended, let me clarify that I understand this is all relative. My week of having just one child at home has been delightful, but it’s only due to the novelty of it that I perceive it this way. I recognize that if I had started with a single child from the beginning, my experience would be entirely different.
This week has reminded me of the potential ease of raising one child, as my life could have been had I chosen to have them at separate times. For instance, today I had the patience to let Aisling bake muffins from scratch all on her own. While I supervised, I managed not to lose my cool when flour spilled or when she began to “lick the bowl” before pouring the mixture into the muffin cases. Baking with twins is usually a chaotic affair, where I often feel like a frantic general issuing commands to my unruly squad. But today was different.
Keira also benefited from this arrangement. I left Aisling with her father for an entire afternoon, allowing Keira and me to enjoy lunch and browse shops together. Having only one child made it so much easier to relax without worrying about spills or mischief. I only had to keep one child from hiding under clothing racks, and getting her into the car seat took mere moments. It was a day to remember fondly.
This week has shown me that parenting one child, especially when you are accustomed to twins, feels impressively manageable.
You may argue that having a single child has its drawbacks, but for this week, I find that hard to believe. Sure, only children might experience boredom or loneliness, but so do siblings, and it’s often amplified when multiple voices are clamoring for attention. Perhaps only children rely on their parents for constant companionship, but with just one child, the decision-making process for games is much simpler, eliminating the need for negotiation and compromise.
While I cherish my life as a parent of twins and will likely continue to express how wonderful it is, I plan to incorporate more one-on-one time with each of them to appreciate the simplicity of parenting.
In conclusion, exploring the experience of raising one child, if only briefly, has provided me with valuable insights into the manageable nature of such a scenario. The balance of parenting can be overwhelming, but a bit of individual attention can make a world of difference.
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