Updated: August 7, 2023
Originally Published: August 17, 2013
When you take the step to consult an infertility specialist, the real journey begins (insert dry humor here)! Tackling infertility treatment can be a lengthy and emotionally taxing experience. Here are some essential points to keep in mind:
- Discuss Your Limits: Before your initial meeting with an infertility expert, have an open conversation with your partner about your financial and emotional boundaries. Since infertility treatments may be covered by insurance in some states but not others, researching your options is crucial. Create a list of questions for your doctor and jot down their responses; it’s challenging to remember all that information later.
- Expect Extensive Questioning: During your appointment, you and your partner will undergo a thorough medical history review and physical exam. Be prepared for a range of inquiries, from “When did you start puberty?” to questions about libido and body hair growth for both partners. While some questions may seem odd, they serve a purpose. You’ll also be asked about your fertility efforts, including the timing of attempts and any herbal remedies you may have tried.
- Prepare for Invasive Procedures: You will likely undergo various invasive tests, including blood draws at nearly every visit. If you’re uneasy around needles, this is your chance to confront that fear! Regular vaginal ultrasounds will also become part of your routine—what feels awkward at first will soon become second nature. You might also experience a hysterosalpingography, which uses contrast to visualize your uterus and fallopian tubes for blockages. Occasionally, your doctor may conduct a pelvic ultrasound or laparoscopy for a more detailed examination.
- Anticipate Mood Swings: As you progress through treatments and hormone levels rise, be ready for mood fluctuations (think PMS on steroids). You may find yourself emotional over trivial matters, and the cheerful demeanor of healthcare providers can sometimes feel irritating. Remember, their positivity is intended to support you and remind you of the ultimate goal, even if it feels like they’re daydreaming in a field of unicorns while you’re dealing with the discomfort.
- Decide Who to Inform: Consider whether to share your treatment journey with others. Some individuals may be supportive, while others can be intrusive, posing questions about your cycles and intimate life that are better left to your doctor. My suggestion? Keep it private until you feel ready to share. There’s nothing worse than dealing with prying inquiries when you’re already under stress.
- Be Realistic About Outcomes: Understand that the first few interventions may not yield results; the process can be longer than you expect. If you find yourself on a few cycles of medication, weekly ultrasounds, and timed intercourse—only to receive your period—be prepared for frustration. It’s entirely natural to feel overwhelmed during this time. Utilize the resources your doctor’s office offers, such as counseling, and lean on friends and family for support. Sometimes, a good cry and some ice cream can work wonders.
- Take Breaks When Needed: As one of my close acquaintances expressed, “I feel like my body is no longer my own.” Infertility treatments can turn you into a living experiment. If the process becomes too much for you and your partner, consider taking a break for a month or so. Treat yourself to massages and allow your body to relax. You’re not obligated to continue indefinitely; returning to a normal routine can be rejuvenating before resuming treatment.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. You and your partner are in it together, along with those who care about you. Accept support from loved ones because navigating these challenging times truly takes a village. For more information on your options, check out this post about couples’ fertility journeys.
In summary, infertility treatment is a complex and often emotional process filled with unexpected challenges and necessary conversations. Stay informed, be patient with yourself and your partner, and don’t hesitate to seek help when needed.