Angela on Who’s the Boss? made motherhood appear effortlessly attainable. You secure a prestigious job, welcome a child, hire a handsome (retired professional athlete) housekeeper, and manage to juggle it all while navigating a few awkward moments. Her life seemed idyllic, and as a child, I aspired to that reality.
However, when I transitioned into my own career and became a mother, the illusion shattered. The experience was far more complex than I had anticipated.
Initially, I immersed myself in literature about “having it all.” I learned that I didn’t simply give birth and instantly discern whether I was meant to be a stay-at-home mom or a career woman. Many women, of course, don’t even have the option to choose. Upon returning to work after a nerve-wracking 12 weeks of maternity leave, I encountered a profound emotional landscape that was raw and uncharted. It seemed that as soon as I delivered my baby, I was also handed a hefty dose of guilt.
I first felt this guilt as I closed the door behind me to head back to the office after my leave. Leaving my tiny newborn—who spent most of her time feeding and being adorable—felt like a monumental act. The door closing was a poignant symbol of my internal conflict. A wave of sorrow washed over me. My partner gently guided me to the elevator as tears streamed down my face, erasing my carefully applied makeup.
Despite loving my job, I felt as though instinct and logic were waging a battle in my mind, reminiscent of an angel and devil on my shoulders. I believed that by pushing myself a little harder, I could continue to excel in my career. I had worked diligently to become the first in my family to graduate college, and countless women before me had fought to normalize the idea of working mothers. I knew I could navigate this path—I was determined to succeed.
Then came the reality of work travel. The mere anticipation of trips caused my guilt to fester, especially for those that took me far from home. Facetime conversations became frantic, often set against the backdrop of meltdowns—mine or my child’s. While the electrifying thrill of exploring new cities invigorated me, it was swiftly overshadowed by the longing to connect with my family through the glow of my phone screen.
Big projects and brainstorming sessions did ignite a sense of purpose within me. I worked with clients who challenged me but ultimately contributed positively to society. Yet, gradually, my enthusiasm began to wane.
One day, during a conference call, I received a text from the babysitter with pictures of my kids at the park. Once the call ended, one question echoed in my mind: “What am I doing?”
Just three weeks ago, I made the decision to resign. I am uncertain if I will thrive as a stay-at-home mom. It’s quite possible that I will find myself yearning for my old position within a month. Cooking isn’t my strong suit, and I often struggle to get out of the house without multiple trips back for forgotten items. Patience is not one of my virtues, and I tend to overspend, making budgeting a challenge.
Do my children even want to spend their days with me? The answer remains elusive. What I do know is that the debate around working versus staying at home often polarizes mothers, which is unjust. We all grapple with guilt, the search for balance, and the desire to achieve it all.
Certainly, some women, like Angela, are clear about their professional aspirations, while others are resolute about being stay-at-home moms. However, many of us find ourselves in a muddled middle ground, feeling guilt for either choice. What we truly need is to foster support among one another, encouraging open discussions about these issues.
Three weeks into my new role, I’m feeling optimistic. I am confident that this choice is right for me and my family at this moment. This awareness will make those heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at the park all the more enjoyable.
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Summary
The article reflects on the misconceptions of motherhood perpetuated by media portrayals like Who’s the Boss?. It highlights the emotional complexities faced by working mothers, such as guilt and identity struggles, and calls for solidarity among women navigating these challenges. The author shares her own journey of transitioning from a career to becoming a stay-at-home mom, emphasizing the importance of finding the right path for oneself and family.
Keyphrase: motherhood misconceptions
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