Essential Parenting Wisdom for Today’s Moms

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I embarked on my parenting journey in 1994 and continued in 1995, 1997, and then again in 2000, joining the ranks of those celebrated Y2K parents. That’s four kids in total, all now teenagers, and a mother who has aged alongside them. (Let’s just say, my decision-making process prior to having these wonderful children involved less math than it should have, but I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything.) Over the years, I’ve gathered a wealth of knowledge—some of which has enriched my life (and theirs), while other lessons have left me feeling doubtful of my parenting abilities.

When I first became a mother, I was utterly unprepared. I transitioned from a carefree party girl to a blubbering mess, donning oversized mesh underwear, desperately pleading with an overworked nurse on the other end of a 24-hour hospital hotline. “YOU LET ME TAKE THIS BABY HOME!” I screamed. “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!” Since that chaotic beginning, I’ve had my share of less-than-stellar moments, but I’ve also experienced some truly rewarding ones.

These days, I often encounter new mothers in places like Costco, the mall, or on local trails. They remind me of my younger self and my own little ones. I feel the urge to share my insights, but the thought of coming across as intrusive—or realizing I’m running late—often holds me back. But today, I’m throwing caution to the wind! Here’s what I’ve learned over the years, and what I wish someone had told me back in the day. Who knows? It might have changed my parenting approach. Humor me, please!

Here are my top 10 pieces of parenting advice:

  1. Trust Your Instincts: Always listen to your gut. This is a lesson I learned later than I’d like to admit. I remember ignoring my instincts when something felt off—like a child my kids were hanging out with or a teacher’s strange behavior. Mother’s intuition is real. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Understand the difference between intuitive pangs and feelings of guilt or worry; it takes time, but it will come. When you sense something amiss, take action—even if it makes you the “bad guy.” Remember, you are your child’s strongest advocate.
  2. Connect with Their Teachers: From preschool onward, build relationships with your children’s teachers. These dedicated individuals work tirelessly for modest pay, fueled by their passion for education. If you have the chance, stop by and say hello. Share positive feedback when your child has a great day at school. Teachers are eager to connect with parents, so keep communication open, especially as your kids progress into junior high and beyond.
  3. Know Your Kids’ Friends and Their Parents: This is easier when they’re little, but as they grow, it requires effort. My kids have had friends for years, yet I’m often unaware of who their newer friends are or who their parents are. Take the initiative to reach out—to introduce yourself to other parents. It’s crucial to create a supportive community, as it truly takes a village.
  4. Avoid Judging Other Moms: Try not to judge fellow mothers. It can be tempting, especially in social settings. I learned this the hard way after engaging in gossip about another mom, only to later offer her support during a difficult time. You’ll meet many moms in your parenting journey; some will become friends, while others won’t. The more compassionate you are, the better you’ll feel at the end of the day.
  5. Be Mindful of Their Diet: While I’m not suggesting you go all organic, it’s essential to be aware of what you’re feeding your kids. Read labels and familiarize yourself with additives and preservatives. It can be overwhelming, but making healthier choices is a process that can be done. Remember, lifelong eating habits start when they’re young!
  6. Get Help When Needed: If your child needs assistance, whether academically, mentally, or physically, don’t let pride or fear stop you from seeking help. Resources are available, from tutors to therapists, and your child’s well-being should always come first.
  7. Spend Quality Time Together: Amidst the chaos of sports and activities, carve out time to relax with your kids—ideally daily, but at least weekly. Create opportunities for genuine connection without distractions. They crave this time, and so do you.
  8. Embrace Humor: Parenthood is filled with absurd moments; don’t take it all too seriously. I distinctly remember the day my newborn urinated in his own eyes while I was changing him. Instead of panicking, I chose to laugh. Find the humor in parenting—it makes the challenges easier to navigate.
  9. Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t be too hard on yourself if you have a bad day (or week). The pressure to be the perfect mom is overwhelming, especially with social media’s unrealistic portrayals. Remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. Embrace the messiness of life; it’s all part of the journey.
  10. Be Ready to Adapt Your Expectations: Parenting will often challenge your hopes and dreams. When my son struggled with reading, it was a tough pill to swallow. Accepting that he needed help was a difficult but necessary step. Be prepared to adjust your expectations and embrace new dreams for your children.

In summary, parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs. Trust your instincts, connect with others, be mindful of your children’s needs, and most importantly, give yourself grace. Parenting is not about perfection; it’s about growth, both for you and your kids.

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