In my early adulthood, a mental health professional suggested that my various challenges could be linked to Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). This revelation surprised me, as I had never considered myself someone who struggled with concentration.
“I genuinely believe you may have ADD. This could be the reason you find daily tasks difficult,” she explained, providing me with a questionnaire to assess my symptoms. “If you score high enough, your physician might prescribe Adderall,” she added, comparing my struggles to those of a hyperactive child on a sugar high.
At home, I took the questionnaire seriously until I encountered a question that perplexed me: “Do you find it hard to focus on tasks that you find dull?” Isn’t that the definition of something being dull? If tedious tasks were engaging, they wouldn’t be boring. I chose to stop answering questions, believing that improving my organizational skills would enhance my quality of life more than any medication or questionnaire.
However, for many parents—especially those who stay at home—perhaps medications like Adderall could address some of our challenges. It appears that many parents, myself included, grapple with maintaining attention on the monotonous tasks that fill our days. If we buy into the results of that questionnaire I completed years ago, many of us might warrant a diagnosis of Parenting Attention Deficit Disorder (PADD). Perhaps this term will find its way into future editions of the DSM.
I am not suggesting my attention is always wandering. I can successfully prepare meals, engage in coloring sessions, and read stories for extended periods. However, there are times when I find myself distracted, pondering what adults who aren’t scrubbing mac and cheese off the ceiling are doing, prompting me to check my social media. Occasionally, I skim news headlines to better assist my eldest with her social studies homework rather than exclaiming, “We have a black president?! Since when?!”
When my PADD leads me to engage in interesting, non-child-related activities, I still keep an ear tuned to the children’s antics. It’s crucial to monitor their interactions to ensure that my son doesn’t overwhelm his younger sister with affection—he’s still at the age where he may try to hug her excessively, reminiscent of Elmyra from Tiny Toons. Typically, he’s a caring older brother, but at four years old, he doesn’t exactly qualify as a responsible babysitter.
One such instance of PADD occurred when my toddler and son were playing quietly upstairs. I peeked in to find my daughter playing with her sister’s dolls while my son sat at his desk, oblivious to my presence. After a quick diversion to Twitter, I ventured upstairs only to discover that my son had initiated a game with scissors he dubbed “Cut Everything”—a title that was both worryingly descriptive and alarming.
After confiscating the scissors, we set about cleaning up the hundreds of pieces of paper he had transformed into confetti. The paper clung to my toddler’s clothes so tenaciously that I even found myself vacuuming her outfit while she wore it (yes, I documented this on social media during another PADD moment).
I didn’t think much of the incident until my partner returned home that evening and inquired about our daughter’s hair. “What happened to her lovely curls?” she asked, and it dawned on me that in those five unsupervised minutes, my son had given his sister an unintended haircut. Smart as ever, she had promptly informed on him: when asked if her brother used scissors, she simply nodded and said, “Boy. Hair.”
Both my son and I faced the consequences. I understood my partner’s frustration with my lack of vigilance; we were fortunate that the outcome was just a haircut and that the situation didn’t result in any physical harm. Since then, I’ve made a concerted effort to stay more focused. I try to resist the distractions of the internet, but constant attention is a demanding task.
Nonetheless, I do not believe PADD is merely a byproduct of our digital age. Parenting has always involved such distractions. As soon as humanity transitioned to an upright stance, there were undoubtedly parents who diverted their attention to other matters while neglecting their children’s needs.
A testament to this is the experience of my son’s preschool teacher, who recounted a similar story. “Oh, that happened to me too,” she remarked. “My eldest cut her younger sister’s hair while they played beneath the kitchen table. It was so short; it looked like a terrible Marine cut!”
“When did this happen?” I asked, curious.
“While I was sitting at the same table, enjoying a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper,” she replied, nonchalantly. So, while previous generations may not have been entangled in social media, they certainly experienced PADD, much like we do today.
In conclusion, although the distractions of modern parenting may seem unique, they are reflective of a long-standing challenge faced by caregivers throughout history. For those seeking more insights on fertility and parenting, resources such as Make a Mom’s fertility booster for men and March of Dimes can provide valuable information.
Keyphrase: Parenting Attention Deficit Disorder
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