The Appropriate Treatment of Educators

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As a protective parent, I find myself deeply involved in my children’s lives. Whether I’m climbing the jungle gym with them or testing their food for safety, my instincts drive me to ensure their well-being. On the first day of school, I linger a little longer than necessary, showering them with hugs and goodbyes, even as they rush off to play with friends. But one day, a situation arose that tested my protective nature.

My young daughter, Lily, returned home in a somber mood, confessing she had misbehaved at school. It was unusual for her to fabricate stories at such a tender age. When I inquired further, she revealed that her teacher had drawn sad faces on the backs of her hands as a form of punishment. My heart sank. Such a disciplinary method was unheard of in my experience as an educator, especially since I teach older students. The thought of marking a child in this way was unsettling. I knew that if I ever did something similar, it would likely lead to serious repercussions, perhaps even losing my job.

I decided to text Lily’s teacher, Ms. Johnson, to understand her reasoning. Maintaining a calm demeanor, I asked why Lily had those sad faces on her hands. Ms. Johnson replied that it was an experiment to help children recognize their misbehavior. I felt uneasy about labeling a child publicly in this manner but remained professional. I requested that in the future, she communicate misbehavior through notes or messages, allowing my husband and I to discuss it with Lily at home.

This led to a communication system where Ms. Johnson would notify me of any issues, and we could address them together as a family. It didn’t take long for Lily to realize that her actions at school had consequences at home, such as losing privileges like watching her favorite TV show.

However, when I shared this experience with other educators and the school nurse, they were shocked, suggesting I escalate the situation to the principal. I chose not to, recalling a previous incident when I had confronted a daycare director over a caregiver’s improper diaper-changing technique. While I thought I was advocating for my child, the teacher became distant and formal, and I lost the open communication we once shared. This experience taught me the importance of trust and respect between parents and educators.

In my career, I have encountered various parental responses. Supportive parents tend to foster better communication, while confrontational ones create barriers. Some parents react defensively when their child is called out for disruptive behavior, often leading to a breakdown in communication that ultimately hinders their child’s progress. If parents are overly protective or combative, they can inadvertently prevent their children from learning accountability.

Additionally, I firmly believe that children must learn to navigate disagreements respectfully. Whether at school or in future workplaces, they will face individuals with whom they may not see eye to eye. Teaching them to address issues constructively, rather than resorting to complaints, prepares them for adulthood.

Returning to my daughter’s situation, while I disapproved of the teacher’s method, I had to focus on addressing Lily’s behavior. Confronting the teacher would not have solved the core issue—helping my daughter learn appropriate conduct in class. By maintaining an open line of communication with Ms. Johnson, I was able to support my daughter’s growth and development.

In conclusion, as parents, we must allow our children to take responsibility for their actions and learn from their mistakes. We can teach them to advocate for themselves, but it is crucial to emphasize that kindness and respect are essential for effective communication.

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