Before I became a mother of two, I wouldn’t classify myself as overly feminine, but I did enjoy wearing makeup, dressing nicely, and accessorizing. Fast forward to today, and it feels like I might need a crash course in makeup application by the time my boys are grown. After putting them to bed, cracking open a beer, and watching reruns of my favorite show, I pondered how I’ve adopted some distinctly masculine traits.
While this may involve some stereotyping, my observations are rooted in my experiences with my partner, who embodies many traditional male characteristics. Below are several ways I’ve found myself mirroring him since becoming a mom.
1. I Can Get Ready in No Time
I used to envy my partner’s ability to get ready in mere minutes—while I would spend over an hour showering, doing my hair, and trying on multiple outfits, he would be done in just five minutes. It took motherhood for me to realize his secret: a relaxed attitude towards appearances. Now, I can shower in seven minutes, apply a quick dusting of powder and mascara, and throw on whatever is clean. It’s a drastic change, and I often find myself waiting in the car for him to finish getting ready!
2. I’m Comfortable with Public Exposure
I struggled with breastfeeding in public initially, feeling exposed and vulnerable. However, once my second son arrived, the need to feed him overrode my discomfort. The first time I nursed in public, I felt nervous until I spotted a dad casually showing off his hairy chest at the park. Suddenly, my humility seemed insignificant in comparison.
3. I Rely on My “Culinary Partner”
While I jokingly refer to my slow cooker as my “wife,” it’s true that cooking has become more about convenience than culinary skill. I rarely whip up elaborate meals, but when I do create something enjoyable, I bask in the compliments as if I catered a lavish event. I ensure that these culinary successes remain rare, so expectations don’t skyrocket.
4. Intimacy Takes a Backseat
With young kids, our nights have become unpredictable. Our four-year-old often joins us in bed at odd hours, making intimate moments scarce. The concept of foreplay has shifted to enjoying each other after a long night of interruptions. At this point, I find “after sleep” far more appealing than traditional romance.
5. I’ve Grown Unfazed by Gritty Tasks
My perspective on cleanliness has dramatically shifted. I once found the idea of catching a child’s accident revolting. Now, I’ve handled numerous messy situations without flinching. From cleaning up spills to wiping noses with my hands, my tolerance for grossness has certainly increased since becoming a mother.
6. I’ve Adopted the “Smell Test”
Before kids, I prided myself on doing the laundry meticulously. Now, I find myself rummaging through the hamper, contemplating if a pair of jeans can survive another day without washing. With an overwhelming amount of laundry, practicality often trumps my previous standards of cleanliness.
7. Listening Skills Have Diminished
I used to pride myself on being a great listener, but now, I find myself distracted by my children’s antics. I often catch myself using my partner’s technique of nodding along while only partially engaging. It’s a survival tactic amidst the chaos of parenting.
So, am I stereotyping? Perhaps a bit. Yet, there’s something to be said for blending traits in a partnership. My partner has surprised me with his nurturing side, just as I’ve become more resilient and adaptable.
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Summary
Motherhood has led me to adopt several traits typically associated with my partner, from efficient getting-ready routines to a more relaxed attitude toward cleanliness. These changes reflect not only the demands of parenting but also an evolving partnership dynamic, where both parents embrace new roles and responsibilities.
Keyphrase: motherhood and partner traits
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