My six-year-old daughter has once again taken to speaking in a language of her own invention. She calls it “Pancake.” Essentially, she repeats the word “pancake” in various tones and volumes. She raises her pitch when asking a question, lowers it dramatically to express disappointment, and speeds up the word at a higher pitch when she wants to convey anger. To her, this is a hilarious form of communication.
For me, however, it’s quite frustrating. It was 8 AM on a Saturday, and I had just woken up. The last thing I wanted to do was engage in Pancake talk, but my daughter, full of energy and clad in her favorite pajamas, was tugging at my pants and pointing at something she desired—most likely the candy on top of the refrigerator—while chanting “pancake” repeatedly.
“Emma,” I said, trying to maintain my composure, “I’m not in the mood for this. Just tell me what you want, in English, please.”
“Pancake,” she replied cheerfully.
“Great,” I responded, “then you’ll get nothing.”
Determined, she tugged harder, her insistence only growing as she continued to point and repeat that word. It all felt completely absurd. My daughter is articulate. She can express her thoughts and desires when she chooses, so why resort to this nonsensical language? I want my children to communicate effectively, to articulate their wants and needs clearly, as I believe it fosters self-awareness and growth. Yet, I struggled to see how speaking in Pancake would enhance her cognitive skills.
Interestingly, despite her fondness for the word “pancake,” she refuses to eat them. Her diet comprises mostly ramen noodles, dinosaur-shaped meat, and macaroni and cheese. She enjoys Lucky Charms too, but only the marshmallows, which hardly counts as a balanced meal. Her understanding of pancakes seems limited to the ones offered to her, and she regards them with an expression of dread, as if they were some daunting challenge.
I found myself contemplating how long this Pancake phase would last. Would she be that student in high school who answers trivia questions with “Pancake”? Would she believe she was being funny while others found it irritating?
As I watched her standing there, still chanting “pancake” and pointing, I felt a mix of frustration and nostalgia. She resembled my younger self—stocky, with bright blue eyes and a mischievous grin. I couldn’t help but reflect on my own quirky behaviors growing up, wondering if she was perhaps following in my footsteps. Was I, as a parent, overreacting by sending her to her room for this harmless whimsy?
I crouched to her level and said, “Emma, I need a break from ‘Pancake’ for today. Just tell me what you want in a language I can understand, and I’ll make it happen. You could ask for cookies, and I’d get them for you. Just make sure to ask clearly.”
“Pancake,” she responded, her expression conveying that my offer paled in comparison to her amusement.
At that moment, I sent her to her room and pondered if I was unjustly punishing her for being quirky. All I could think of were the times I was teased for my oddities and how I often sabotaged my own chances at connection with humor. I wondered if limiting her expression would change the genetics I had unknowingly passed down.
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Summary:
Parenting a child with unique behaviors can be both amusing and challenging. Navigating the complexities of their imaginative expressions, such as creating a language like “Pancake,” forces us to reflect on our own childhood quirks. Balancing discipline while allowing creative freedom is crucial for fostering healthy communication and self-expression.
Keyphrase: Unique child behaviors
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