For the past four years, I have pondered an intriguing question: how will my daughter, Lily, ever express her gratitude for the grueling forty-two hours of labor I endured? As often happens with children, the answer arrived unexpectedly while I was at the grocery store checkout.
Spotting a fashion magazine with a cover featuring a glamorous celebrity, Lily exclaimed, “Mom, she looks just like you!”
You know those cinematic moments where time seems to slow down, and everything becomes profoundly significant? It felt like that. Lily’s bright blue eyes sparkled as she turned to me, a radiant smile illuminating her face.
“Oh, do you really think so? She’s very beautiful,” I replied, attempting modesty. Lily flashed her winning smile, and as we continued our shopping, I felt as if I were floating on air. Perhaps her visual processing skills were slightly off, but in that moment, we were even.
Of course, I bear little resemblance to that celebrity; aside from my short, tousled hair and brown eyes, our similarities end there. However, children do have a knack for generalizations, and occasionally, this works to your advantage—sometimes not.
Take, for instance, the other evening when I approached the dinner table looking less than my best. Lily, seemingly harboring some unspoken resentment for my refusal to let her bring her toy purse to the table, complimented me with, “You look very handsome tonight, Mom.”
My partner, Amy, quickly corrected her with a sing-song voice, “You mean, ‘Mom is so pretty’.”
“No, she’s handsome,” Lily declared, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.
This isn’t the first time Lily has provided such “compliments.” Just recently, she remarked, “Mom, your tummy isn’t flat like mine,” and, “Wow, Mom, you have a little mustache!”
I thought I had endured my fair share of awkward comments years ago when a stranger at the library remarked on my “chicken legs.” But here we are again, folks. Just when I had achieved a measure of self-acceptance regarding my body, my daughter’s brutal honesty has resurfaced.
Lily enjoys the blissful ignorance of childhood, free from the burden of self-criticism. With her sun-kissed hair and flawless complexion, she often draws compliments from strangers. “She’s a little angel!” they say.
But let’s not forget the reality of parenting: even while navigating through the surprises of aging—like developing callouses on your ankles—I find myself feeling more comfortable in my skin than ever. Perhaps it’s because I no longer feel the need to impress anyone. After all, Amy is here for the long haul, and I’m no longer searching for validation through my looks.
If only I could silence Lily’s unfiltered observations. Just last summer, she asked me if I “remember fossils.”
Children possess an incredible ability to bring clarity to our perceptions. They observe the world devoid of biases and convoluted reasoning. We’ve all experienced those moments where, after sharing a story about an unfortunate animal, our child innocently questions why anyone would harm another being simply for not being perfect. Their clarity is refreshing!
I have reveled in the understanding my children demonstrate towards accepting differences, and I can see it reflected in their interactions with me. Just this morning, I believed I saw it in Lily’s innocent gaze. She radiated pure love, free from judgment.
Then she added, “Mom, your breath smells like cat poop.”
That’s it. I’m drafting an invoice for her future labor and delivery costs now.
This article was originally published on March 17, 2012.
Summary:
Children’s candid observations can be both amusing and brutally honest, often highlighting the stark realities of aging and self-acceptance. While moments of innocence provide clarity and joy, they also serve as a reminder of the unfiltered truths children share. Ultimately, navigating parenthood requires a sense of humor and resilience as we embrace our unique journeys.
Keyphrase: brutal honesty of children
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