As is my routine each morning, I dropped off my son, Ethan, at school today. The drop-off process is well-organized: enter from the north, circle around to the rear doors, where school staff greet you at the car with cheerful goodbyes, and then exit through the west entrance. It typically takes just a few minutes.
However, today was different. In front of me was a sleek German vehicle, and a father was leaning into the backseat. It quickly became evident that the child was not eager to exit the car. A male teacher soon appeared to assist, and together they managed to coax the visibly resistant student from the vehicle and toward the school entrance. This was a large child—likely around ten years old but as big as an adult.
Midway to the doors, the student suddenly attempted to flee. The teacher grasped him firmly, but in the ensuing struggle, they both ended up on the ground. Another male staff member rushed over, and together they helped the child back on his feet, leading him inside. It was apparent that these educators were experienced and unfazed by the situation, treating it like just another day on the job. To an outside observer, this scene could serve as a perfect illustration of how to handle a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
Yet, I wasn’t merely an observer. I was watching from my vehicle with my eight-year-old son, and it felt like a glimpse into our future. If the child in front of me had been outside of the school environment—away from understanding staff and peers—he might have seemed threatening. People could easily perceive such behavior as alarming.
This encapsulates the reality of parenting a child with autism. There is a constant undercurrent of anxiety and urgency that weighs on me every day. Ethan is certainly making progress; his eye contact, conversational skills, and short-term memory are improving steadily. However, we are still struggling with his emotional regulation, and we are far from finding a solution.
The truth is, my son—my adorable, loving, musical, and energetic child who is the first to comfort you when you are down—can also hit, kick, and scream when frustration strikes. It’s not a playful display; it’s a genuine reaction to overwhelming emotions. Currently, I can physically remove him from a situation until he calms down, but that will not be a viable option as he grows. I need to connect with him and discover effective strategies for his anxiety, and I feel a pressing need to act quickly.
As the father returned to his car, I glanced back at the line of parents waiting to drop off their kids. I waved. I’m not sure if he noticed, but the gesture was for my own reassurance, not his. “It’s okay. We understand. We truly get it.” My wave was a signal that I was not intimidated by his son’s behavior. Because if my situation mirrors theirs in a year or two, I will need someone to wave back at me.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the daily challenges faced by a parent of a child with autism, highlighting the emotional weight of managing behaviors and the urgency to find effective strategies for emotional regulation. The author shares a relatable experience during a school drop-off that underscores the importance of community understanding and support.
Keyphrase: Autism Parenting Challenges
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