In the year 1988, at the age of nine, I found myself captivated by my mother’s nurturing ways, envisioning a future where I would raise children of my own. I imagined a charming nursery adorned with a lovely Laura Ashley set, created by a husband who bore a passing resemblance to a young Jonathan Brandis. My daydreams were filled with bottles, burping, and soft, fragrant baby clothes. However, I never contemplated what life would be like beyond that early, demanding stage of infancy. The broader perspective of motherhood—raising small humans into self-sufficient individuals—was something I overlooked.
This reality hit home during a Christmas break when my spouse was home for an extended period. I would manage to clean the kitchen and vacuum the floors, mentally congratulating myself for accomplishing these tasks while the kids were around. Anyone who has cared for children understands that cleaning while they are present is no easy feat. Just when I thought I could finally relax with a new library book, one of my children would inevitably approach me with questions like, “Mom, where are my pants?” or “Can you get me some water?”
In those moments, my initial instinct was to resist getting up. However, I quickly reminded myself of the wisdom often shared by well-meaning relatives: “Babies don’t stay babies forever,” or “Kids grow up so fast!” These phrases, while cliché, resonate deeply with me. I have witnessed firsthand how swiftly children evolve, and this realization drives me to engage fully in their lives. The thought of not having the opportunity to be present for them tomorrow weighs heavily on my mind.
Competing thoughts about children who have faced tragic fates or parents longing for a child swirl in my consciousness, making it feel selfish to decline my children’s requests. When I first met my daughter, she was whisked away to the NICU, leaving me helpless and longing to care for her. Upon learning we could take her home with special care needs, I eagerly embraced the chance to do everything for her. Now that she is nearing ten, I find that she sometimes asks me to do simple tasks for her, like brushing her hair, because it’s quicker.
Yet, I am beginning to question whether efficiency should be the goal. Despite my tendencies to step in and assist with tasks like hair brushing, room cleaning, and even completing homework assignments (yes, I admit it), I often feel guilty if I don’t. This guilt translates into a sense of urgency: “What if I don’t have them tomorrow?” Thus, I find myself continuously embracing those fleeting moments, even if they include wiping messy faces or occasionally forging a signature.
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In summary, the drive to care for my children stems from a deep-seated desire to savor every moment and avoid future regrets. While I often feel the weight of my actions, I recognize that each choice I make is rooted in love and an aspiration to be the best parent I can be.
Keyphrase: parenting motivation
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