In my brief experience as a parent, I have found myself occasionally stretching the truth with my son. For instance, I might promise him ice cream tomorrow, but when the day arrives, he forgets to ask, and I remain silent, knowing it could spoil his dinner. By the time he recalls the promise, we’ve already passed the ice cream shop, and instead, he receives a balanced meal at home. This is a classic example of a fib told with his best interests in mind.
Then there are moments when I threaten him, saying that if he doesn’t sleep within ten minutes, I’ll go to bed without him. The reality is, until he falls asleep, I won’t be sleeping either; however, the fear of being left alone is often enough to persuade him to surrender his resistance to sleep. I understand that these little white lies make my life easier, and while some might judge this approach, I believe that desperate times in parenting call for creative solutions.
Of course, I have also indulged in the myth of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, explaining that these figures will bring him gifts and surprises. These are stories I can embrace without guilt. But there is one falsehood I refuse to propagate: the notion that he can be anything he desires.
This phrase is often uttered with good intentions, meant to inspire and encourage children to pursue their aspirations. However, I believe that this statement can inadvertently set unrealistic expectations. I am my son’s most ardent supporter, and I genuinely believe in his potential. Yet, the truth is that he cannot do everything he wishes. Every individual has limitations, and he is no different.
Some people lack the dexterity to perform delicate tasks like surgery, while others may not possess the necessary patience to teach. Additionally, physical constraints may prevent someone from becoming a pilot if their height inhibits their ability to fit in the cockpit. This reality is simply part of life.
Nevertheless, I wholeheartedly encourage my son to explore his capabilities and engage in various activities. If he expresses interest in the school spelling bee, even if he struggles with simple words like “cat,” I will support him, helping him prepare. Should he wish to join a band or choir, I will cheer him on, regardless of his musical talent. If he wants to try different sports—football, tennis, golf—I will be there to facilitate his involvement, even if his skills need improvement.
My commitment is to help him enhance his abilities as long as he is motivated to persist. He can attempt to secure a position on the baseball team year after year, but ultimately, he may find that certain aspirations may be unattainable due to inherent limitations. And that is perfectly acceptable. I want him to understand that not every dream will be within reach, and this does not signify failure—it signifies being human.
It is my responsibility to ensure he recognizes this truth. If I don’t assist him in navigating these realities, someone else will, but they may not offer the same love and support that I can provide. They won’t be there to encourage him or help him discover new dreams.
At present, my son is just a toddler, and I cannot predict his future strengths, interests, or ambitions. I don’t know if he will thrive in the spotlight or prefer a quieter life. I cannot foresee his preferences for academics versus athletics, or where his true talents lie. However, I do know one thing: I will not deceive him about the nature of his dreams. If an aspiration contradicts his abilities or personality, I will express that honestly.
Because I am his mother, and I cannot endorse that falsehood.
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Summary
In parenting, honesty about limitations is crucial. While it’s common to encourage children to pursue their dreams, it’s equally important to help them understand their boundaries. As a mother, I will always support my son in exploring his interests while also guiding him to recognize the realities of his abilities.
Keyphrase: parenting dreams and limitations
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