Certain moments in life become indelibly marked in our memories. For instance, January 28, 1986, when the Challenger space shuttle tragically exploded; a random evening in the fall of 1987, marked by my first genuine kiss; November 4, 2008, the historic election of our first African American President; and a summer day in 1995 when I first comprehended that my father was just an ordinary human being.
Each individual experiences this realization at their own pace, yet the accompanying emotions—shock, disappointment, confusion, and resentment—are universally relatable. They converge in a moment of clarity, revealing that our parents, who once seemed like omnipotent figures, are merely people navigating parenthood.
From the moment of our birth, our parents are our entire universe, cradling us and tending to our every need. They appear superhuman, possessing infinite wisdom and the ability to answer all our questions while managing the daily chaos of life. When these seemingly infallible beings show their vulnerabilities, it can shake our foundations.
When I first acknowledged that my father was an everyday person, I felt a sense of bitterness. I had idealized him, believing he could do no wrong. This realization left me feeling betrayed and resentful. However, with time and maturity, I came to understand and appreciate this reality. Now that I am a parent, I recognize that no one is truly prepared for the challenges of raising children. The myriad of books and anecdotes from friends provide little preparation for the messy and exhausting journey of parenthood. We remain the same individuals with our own baggage, even after becoming parents.
As a single mother, I am especially transparent with my children. My life’s complexities are readily apparent, and I believe this helps soften the potential disappointment that comes with realizing I’m not perfect. I want them to see the genuine me—someone who is a friend, daughter, writer, and an individual with personal aspirations. I enjoy laughter, food, and the occasional lazy weekend. I also get cranky when hungry or when my partner is late, and I have a low tolerance for rowdy children. Yet, amidst all these traits, being their mother is my greatest joy.
While “mom” is my favorite title, at the core, I am just a person with two kids. The sooner they recognize this, the healthier our relationship will be.
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In summary, understanding that parents are merely human allows for a more authentic and compassionate relationship. Embracing our imperfections fosters deeper connections with our children, ultimately leading to healthier familial dynamics.
Keyphrase: Parents are just human
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