When the time comes for potty training, many parents feel ready to tackle the challenge. Perhaps you’ve read a few guides or received advice from friends who have successfully gone through this experience. However, once you dive in, you quickly realize it can be a lot harder than anticipated. There may be accidents, behavioral changes, and an overwhelming amount of laundry. Yet, eventually, your little one transitions from a toddler to a more independent child, and it seems like the hard work has paid off.
However, there’s a lesser-discussed aspect of potty training that can be quite frustrating: regressions. These aren’t the usual setbacks you might expect from a two-year-old; I’m referring to the more perplexing regressions that can occur after your child starts school. This is particularly challenging when you believe your child is well past this stage.
Currently, I’m dealing with this very issue with my son, Max, and it’s revealing aspects of my character that I didn’t know existed—frustrations I never thought I’d face. For instance, just this week, I found myself upset for the fifth time when he stood up from the couch with wet pants. When I asked if he was aware of the accident, he simply shrugged.
My partner and I have always assured Max that accidents are okay. We emphasize that we won’t get angry, as we understand that sometimes the urge comes unexpectedly or goes unnoticed. I have been particularly mindful not to impose any shame on him regarding these accidents, especially as I recall dealing with a medical condition in my childhood that made things difficult. As a result, I’ve made it a priority to foster an environment where he feels comfortable discussing accidents without fear of judgment.
This strategy seemed effective at first, but then we experienced a significant change in our lives: we moved to a new neighborhood. Suddenly, his routine was disrupted, and the friends he had made were no longer part of his daily life. This upheaval seemed to trigger a surge in potty training issues. While there were still days with no accidents, other days saw him having several mishaps, sometimes returning from school in clothes that weren’t his own.
We tried to maintain a calm demeanor, reassuring him that we were more puzzled than angry. I encouraged him to use the bathroom more frequently, but he often returned saying he couldn’t go, only to have an accident shortly after. Eventually, he confessed that he sometimes held it in because he didn’t want to be told what to do. He also revealed that he dislikes washing his hands, which contributed to his reluctance to use the bathroom. At one point, he claimed he couldn’t feel when he needed to go, but I recalled that he never had accidents in public places, such as at restaurants.
Now that Max has turned five, I suspect he’s experiencing some fear of missing out (FOMO) and is ignoring his body’s signals. After consulting with our pediatrician, we believe the issue is behavioral. However, the daily power struggles we face are exhausting. He often refuses to drink water at school to avoid needing to go, and when I urge him to visit the bathroom before school, it leads to a significant fuss, risking our punctuality. I’ve employed various strategies—pleading, bargaining, and even implementing reward charts—but nothing seems to stick for more than a couple of weeks.
Every day feels like a battle. Max appears frustrated with a natural bodily function, and I’m at a loss on how to guide him through this process. Unfortunately, no amount of conversation or reasoning has made a difference. For now, I hold on to the hope that when well-meaning friends reassure me that he won’t still be having these accidents as a teenager, they are correct.
In summary, potty training regressions can be a frustrating aspect of early childhood development. Although it’s crucial to foster a supportive environment that eliminates shame, unexpected life changes can complicate the process. With patience and understanding, we can navigate this challenging phase, hoping for smoother days ahead.
Keyphrase: potty training regression
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