One afternoon not long ago, I stepped outside to hear the joyful laughter and shouts of children playing in the neighboring yard.
“MOM! Can I go play with my friends? QUICK! Where are my shoes?” my seven-year-old son, Ethan, exclaimed in a hurry.
“Of course, your shoes are where you left them last,” I replied.
“But MOM! I can’t find them!” he cried out, visibly distressed. “Can you help me find them?! They are waiting for me!”
It’s important to realize his friends were not actually waiting for him. They were completely engrossed in their fun, blissfully unaware that Ethan was even absent. While they would certainly welcome him into their games, they were perfectly content without him at that moment.
Yet, in Ethan’s mind, they were eagerly anticipating his arrival, and he felt a strong sense of belonging and importance within their group. He was brimming with confidence, fully convinced that his presence was essential to their enjoyment.
Within just a few minutes, we located his shoes, and he dashed out the door. Witnessing him joyfully skip across the yard to join his friends filled my heart with warmth. His every movement radiated pure joy and self-assurance. As a parent, I felt immense happiness in seeing him so content, grateful for the kindness and openness of his friends, who were mostly older than he was.
However, alongside my maternal joy, I also experienced unexpected feelings: envy and admiration. I envied Ethan’s unwavering confidence and self-belief. I marveled at his certainty that he was wanted, accepted, and belonged. If I’m honest, I don’t possess the same level of confidence as my son does at this tender age, and I yearn for it. I often find myself questioning my own acceptance and place in the world.
As a child, I was naturally more reserved than Ethan, but I still experienced a sense of security, confidence, and belonging. Unfortunately, as I transitioned into adolescence, that innocent confidence gave way to an acute awareness of my insecurities. Questions about my identity and acceptance began to surface and multiply. Was I attractive enough? Intelligent enough? Popular enough? Liked and loved enough?
Do we ever truly escape the feelings of uncertainty that come with being a self-conscious teenager? Do we ever stop questioning our sense of belonging? Do we ever cease to hide behind various facades, trying to fit in?
During my college years, I masked my insecurities with social gatherings and alcohol, adopting a persona that felt more appealing than my true self. In my twenties, I relied on expensive cosmetics and fashionable attire to conceal my flaws, creating an image of confidence that often felt superficial. Even now, although my insecurities may manifest differently, they continue to influence my life in unhealthy ways. I find myself measuring my worth against social media likes, blog metrics, and the need to present a polished image.
I can’t help but ponder: Is that confident and carefree child still somewhere inside, hidden beneath layers of doubt and fear? If I listen closely amidst the noise of daily life, I can almost hear her reassuring me, “It’s alright; you don’t need to hide. You are truly wonderful.”
As parents, it may be our responsibility to nurture our children’s unadulterated confidence for as long as possible. We should frequently remind them of their inherent worth and create an environment where they feel secure and accepted.
Moreover, as adults, we must strive to unearth our own confidence while recognizing that everyone grapples with their unique vulnerabilities. We all occasionally feel like awkward teenagers, longing for a sense of belonging despite our differences.
The challenge, both as parents and as individuals, may be to shed our masks, embrace our vulnerabilities, and hold our children’s hands as we skip toward the bright possibilities that await us.
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In summary, the essence of childhood confidence offers a valuable lesson for both parents and children. By fostering an environment of acceptance and support, we can help our children maintain their self-assurance while also encouraging ourselves to rediscover the confidence of our youth.
Keyphrase: childhood confidence
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