It’s a typical Monday morning. My partner is off at work, and I’m lounging in my pajamas at 9 a.m., contemplating a pool day with my 2-year-old. Just then, my phone buzzes with a reminder: “Family Smile Dentistry is eagerly awaiting your daughter’s 10:30 appointment today!”
Oh no! Despite receiving three reminder texts, a phone call, and even a postcard from just a few blocks away, I completely forgot about my child’s two-year dental checkup.
Suddenly, I’m channeling my inner McCallister from Home Alone, frantically hurrying to get us ready on time. Instead of the cheerful score of a movie, I find myself muttering a few light expletives in front of my impressionable toddler. We have less than an hour to shower, dress, and prepare. I hand her the iPad to keep her occupied, toss a couple of dental-themed books into my bag, and throw on whatever I can find that resembles clothing.
While the clinic may not mind our slightly disheveled appearance, I decide we should look somewhat presentable before stepping out. A quick hair wash, a dab of mascara, and a swift underarm shave—it’s more effort than I typically make for my partner, but I don’t arrange special appointments for him every six months.
As I rummage through my daughter’s wardrobe, I realize that she has no clean clothes fit for the occasion. The only items that aren’t stained with food or other toddler messes are a Christmas dress, a cowboy costume, and a Lilly Pulitzer dress that I might have had to wrestle a fellow shopper for. The Lilly Pulitzer it is!
Just as I’m about to leave, I remember the most critical task: I forgot to brush my daughter’s teeth! Now, I face a dilemma—brush her teeth and risk being late, or arrive on time with her teeth looking like they survived a candy factory explosion. I opt for a compromise: I let her suck on toothpaste from a toothbrush while we make our way to Family Smile Dentistry.
Despite my clever maneuver, we still arrive late. Murphy’s Law strikes again—my garage door refuses to close, an elderly lady ambles across the street, and I have to honk at several distracted drivers who are still glued to their phones.
Fortunately, the receptionist reassures me, “It’s alright. The dentist is running a bit behind this morning. Please take a seat in the waiting room, and we’ll call you when we’re ready.”
My daughter bolts toward the waiting room, which is a child’s paradise—filled with books, televisions showing cartoons, a train table, and numerous toys. I, on the other hand, see a chaotic mess of neglected books, bad cable shows, and a massive stuffed lion that looks like it could be harboring some unsavory germs.
I can’t let my child miss out, so off she goes to claim her territory. I soon realize why the dentist is behind schedule—a mother storms out with her child, berating the dentist for using fluoride toothpaste, claiming it’s dangerous. Meanwhile, her little one whines, “I want McDonald’s! You promised!”
Finally, we are called in. The dental assistant, a cheerful young woman, explains that she needs to take X-rays of my daughter’s mouth. My child happily climbs into the chair until she sees the size of the X-ray piece. Panic ensues, and she starts to cry. The assistant tries to calm her, but it’s no use.
I decide to take charge and hold my child’s mouth open while the X-rays are taken. After some struggle, the photos are done, but I can already picture the therapist’s notes in my child’s future.
Next, we move into the cleaning and examination room. However, my daughter is now fully aware of the situation and refuses to sit in the dentist’s chair. We try a new position, with her head resting on my knees and her legs draped across my sides to hold her still. This is another uphill battle. Just as the assistant begins again, my daughter vomits everywhere.
The assistant apologizes profusely, and I’m doing my best to maintain my composure while the chaos continues. Toys and goodie bags are offered as consolation, but they do little to soothe my distressed child. The poor assistant must be having second thoughts about her career choice.
Finally, the dentist arrives and gives me the good news—my daughter’s teeth are fine. Yet, she keeps chanting “Mickey Mouse” repeatedly, pointing at the ceiling-mounted television. The assistant casually mentions, “Oh, we have cartoons to distract the kids.”
I can’t believe we went through all this without knowing there was a distraction right above us! I thank the dentist and prepare to escape the scene.
As I’m discussing insurance details with the receptionist, the dentist taps me on the shoulder and reminds me, “Your daughter can’t eat or drink for 30 minutes after her cleaning.” Naturally, my child, who can’t even dress herself yet, hears this and immediately demands food.
So, I lead my freshly cleaned, vomit-covered, starving child out the door as the receptionist cheerfully says, “See you in six months!” At that moment, I realize I’m not living in a movie, but rather experiencing my very own Groundhog Day, where every dental visit feels like the last.
Conclusion
In conclusion, visiting the dentist with a toddler can be a chaotic experience filled with unexpected moments and challenges. It’s essential to prepare as best as possible and remain calm amidst the turmoil. For more insights into parenting and fertility, you might find valuable information on fertility boosters, and boosting fertility supplements to be helpful. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy, check out March of Dimes, which is an excellent resource.
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