Parenting
By Sarah Thompson
Updated: Feb. 14, 2016
Originally Published: June 16, 2010
In public, my sons are often mistaken for girls. When strangers misidentify them, I gently correct them, using “he” or “him” instead of “she.” This often leaves them visibly embarrassed, as if they’ve committed a social faux pas by assuming my sons looked feminine. I typically brush it off with a reassuring, “It’s okay.” After all, when you have sons with long hair, such misconceptions are simply part of the package.
Personally, I have always appreciated long hair on men. In college, I frequently encouraged my boyfriends to grow their hair out and spent years trying to keep my husband from visiting the barber too often. I find long hair particularly charming on young boys, so when I became a mother to boys, I was determined to let their hair grow.
My first son almost derailed my plans entirely. He was born bald and remained so for nearly a year. Eventually, his hair began to grow, but not in the way I had anticipated—it fluffed out in all directions like a tiny Einstein. My second son, on the other hand, developed smooth, flowing hair that cascades down to his shoulders, giving him a surfer vibe. As for my youngest, it’s still too early to tell, but he is cultivating a delightful set of beachy curls. I adore every bit of it.
However, my mother and in-laws have voiced their disapproval. They prefer traditional, neatly trimmed hairstyles for boys. While my in-laws tend to keep their thoughts to themselves, my mother has openly expressed her desire to take the kids to a barber. Such objections are rooted in conventional gender norms where boys have short hair and girls have long hair. I choose to ignore their comments.
Other criticisms have arisen as well. Someone once remarked that my sons’ hair appeared unkempt. Initially, I laughed it off, but I’ve since realized that a little trim can help maintain the hair’s health without sacrificing length. My oldest son’s hair did indeed look a bit unruly at times, with frizz adding to the mess. It pained me, but I eventually trimmed his baby hair to allow his adult hair to flourish. He might have looked like a scruffy sheep afterward, but he enjoys his shorter style and is excited about growing it out again.
What matters most is that my sons are happy with their hair. My oldest is determined to grow his hair long, while my middle son proudly declares that he aims to grow his hair down to his knees. The youngest is too young to express his preferences yet, but when the time comes, I will respect his wishes—even if it means shedding a few tears as I watch his hair get cut.
My middle son understands that long hair requires a bit of care. We must be cautious to avoid tangles, and if anything gets stuck, it’s bath time, complete with washing and conditioning. Each morning, I brush his hair, and sometimes, I even straighten it. He insists he enjoys the process, but he knows he must remain still during it.
Occasionally, other children will confuse them for girls, ask why the “girls” are wearing Star Wars shirts, or call them “she.” We correct these misconceptions, and most children quickly adapt. Fortunately, my boys have not yet encountered any bullying related to their hair; perhaps it’s due to the growing acceptance of long hair for boys or maybe because I surround myself with open-minded individuals.
I cherish their long, silky hair. I appreciate that my sons, rather than societal expectations, have chosen their own hairstyles. Most importantly, their hair is a reflection of their individuality. It’s long, beautiful, and distinct from the norm.
In conclusion, embracing my sons’ choices in hairstyles fosters their self-expression and confidence. Long hair, although sometimes met with misunderstanding, has become a symbol of their unique identities and a point of pride in our family.
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Summary:
This article explores the reasons behind a mother’s choice to allow her sons to grow their hair long, addressing societal perceptions and family objections. It emphasizes the importance of self-expression and individuality in children’s lives, highlighting the joy and pride that come from embracing unique hairstyles.
Keyphrase: Long hair choices for boys
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