When my daughter, Lila, reached the age of two, she began to resemble a mini version of her father, and with that transformation came an undeniable beauty. Her hair naturally falls in a charming, slightly crooked part, with darker roots and the remnants of her delightful baby curls at the ends. As any loving parent might, I find myself wanting to express my affection for her in an almost overwhelming way. Yet, I consciously refrain from indulging in the urge to call her solely beautiful.
Like many mothers, I believe that every child embodies an innate charm. They are designed to be endearing, aren’t they? Even in their moments of frustration, such as when they cry for hours on end or throw themselves onto the floor over trivial matters, our instinct is to protect these precious beings. We want to safeguard their innocence and beauty, steering them away from the harshness of the world.
However, when it comes to discussing beauty, I find myself uncertain, particularly with my daughter. With my son, I never felt the same need to qualify my compliments. I would simply call him my handsome little man, and that would be enough. But with Lila, I often say, “You are so beautiful!” and then feel compelled to add, “And smart! And funny!” This hesitation stems from the societal tendency to objectify women from birth—through bows, dolls, and an emphasis on appearances. This early focus on beauty creates a complex relationship with it, making me wary of its implications.
I believe that emphasizing beauty alone can be limiting and superficial. While beauty is something one either possesses or lacks (or enhances with makeup), qualities such as humor, creativity, and intelligence can be nurtured and developed. By recognizing and encouraging these attributes, we help cultivate a richer character that is far more interesting and engaging than mere beauty.
Moreover, I often reflect on the fleeting nature of physical beauty. As Lila grows, her youthful appearance will inevitably change, while her intelligence and sense of humor can continue to flourish. This realization leads me to ponder the true essence of beauty and what it means to age gracefully. The most beautiful individuals I’ve encountered are often those who have lived fulfilling lives, filled with kindness and wisdom, revealing that true beauty is more than skin deep.
Kindness, in particular, stands out as a quality that demands effort and intention—a trait we can all strive to embody. It’s a choice we make daily, and unlike beauty, which is often dictated by societal standards, kindness is attainable for everyone. As Roald Dahl once said, “I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I’ll put it before any of the things like courage or bravery or generosity or anything else.”
Additionally, confidence plays a significant role in how we perceive beauty. I recall a childhood crush who, while not conventionally attractive, radiated confidence that made him incredibly appealing. This reinforces my desire for Lila to develop her self-assurance.
As a practical approach, I allow others to shower her with compliments about her beauty, including her grandfather, who lovingly reminds her of her beauty. Instead, I focus on nurturing the qualities that truly matter—her intelligence, creativity, and kindness. I will celebrate her achievements in these areas, hoping that she will grow to appreciate beauty in the same nuanced way that I do.
In conclusion, while beauty can be acknowledged, it is the deeper qualities that truly define a person. I aim to equip Lila with the understanding that her worth extends far beyond her appearance.
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