When a preschool teacher says, “Can we talk for a moment…in private?” it’s a moment that no parent looks forward to. Today, as I follow Ms. Thompson out of the playroom, I feel a wave of anxiety wash over me. Nearby, other parents and their toddlers are happily chatting, while I lean against the wall, feeling cornered between a plant container and a tricycle.
“There was an incident today involving biting,” she informs me. The sympathetic expression on her face immediately reveals that my child is the one who has bitten another. I stand there in stunned silence, grappling with my emotions. My youngest child, Lily, has never done anything like this before. The embarrassment I feel surpasses that of any public tantrum; it’s a deeper, more unsettling feeling—shame.
How could my little one be the biter? What am I doing wrong?
There are times in parenting when you feel like you’ve been doing everything right, only to have your child’s behavior suggest otherwise. Biting, especially among toddlers, is one of those major parenting challenges that can make you question your abilities as a caregiver. It’s easy to forget that despite all the lessons I’ve instilled in Lily—good manners, sharing, and healthy eating habits—she is now labeled simply as “the Biter,” and I am “the Biter’s mom.”
When your child bites, it often feels like the ultimate failure as a parent. We sometimes internalize our children’s actions as reflections of our parenting skills. A small misstep—a forgotten “thank you,” an unkind remark, or a bite—can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Even though I understand that children may act out when they struggle to manage their emotions or test boundaries, the shame remains.
Rationally, I recognize that biting is a common developmental behavior for children under three, as noted by the American Psychological Association. Yet, knowing this doesn’t alleviate the discomfort, nor does it ease the feelings of the child whose arm was bitten.
Social expectations add pressure to our parenting experiences. We often strive for perfection, creating an environment where we expect children, even the youngest, to exhibit civilized behavior. However, toddlers are still navigating their emotions and social skills, often resorting to primal reactions when overwhelmed.
Gathering my thoughts, I finally apologize to Ms. Thompson. I reassure her that we emphasize communication and kindness at home. I feel an urgent need for her validation; I want her to see me as a caring parent. I ask her for details about the incident, eager to understand how it occurred, hoping to defend both Lily and myself.
Ms. Thompson explains that while lining up, another child accidentally pushed Lily, causing her to stumble and lash out in frustration. While it’s comforting to know there was some provocation, it doesn’t excuse the behavior or erase my feelings of shame.
As I re-enter the classroom, I find Lily happily constructing a tower of blocks. “Mama!” she exclaims, rushing to me. “I was sad today.” I gently stroke her hair, acknowledging her feelings without transferring my shame onto her. At just two years old, she is on a journey of self-discovery, which requires time, patience, and guidance.
As I consider the apology I need to make to the other child’s parents, I remind myself that a little understanding from other parents can help ease the burden we often place on ourselves. For more information on home insemination, check out this resource on artificial insemination kits. If you’re seeking to boost fertility, boost fertility supplements can also be helpful. Additionally, for those navigating infertility, this resource offers valuable insights.
In summary, parenting can bring unexpected challenges, like dealing with biting. It’s essential to remember that such behaviors are often a normal part of development and don’t define our worth as parents. We must navigate these experiences with compassion for ourselves and our children, always striving to learn and grow.
Keyphrase: parenting a child who bites
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