When We Push Children to Win, We All Suffer

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Childhood is fraught with its own set of challenges—awkward haircuts, strict bedtimes, and the constant need for parental assistance. While some might argue that certain restrictions are necessary for a child’s safety and growth, it’s essential to recognize that not all traditions benefit them equally. One such tradition is the abysmal card game known as War.

Why War is a Losing Game

War is a game devoid of strategy where two players divide a deck of cards and flip them over, with the player revealing the higher card taking both. The game continues until one player collects the entire deck. This can drag on for hours, with only one notable twist: when two cards of equal value are drawn, players engage in a “war” where they flip additional cards to determine a winner.

Even as a naive child, I sensed the futility in this game. Unlike Go Fish or Uno, War teaches nothing of value, as every child quickly learns that some numbers are just higher than others.

The Real Dilemma

The true issue with War lies in its implicit message: that winning, regardless of effort or skill, is the ultimate goal. Victories in this game bring little more than bragging rights, and no one truly deserves their win over the other. As Churchill once noted, “History is written by the victors,” but in the case of War, the victor’s identity is often random.

I lack children of my own, but I recall my own childhood struggles, such as the night before running The Mile, part of the President’s Physical Fitness Test, now rebranded as “The President’s Challenge.” The focus on determining winners through such tests reinforces a rigid social hierarchy among children, where the fastest runners are celebrated while slower peers are marginalized.

Lessons Beyond Winning

I’m not advocating for a world where children are shielded from losing or where participation trophies are given out indiscriminately. However, many former slow runners, including myself, carry the emotional weight of these experiences into adulthood, often believing that if we aren’t fast, we shouldn’t engage in physical activity at all.

A narrow focus on winning cultivates a mindset that values competition over personal growth, which is counterproductive to the goals of promoting lifelong fitness. Instead, children should learn to appreciate movement for its own sake rather than as a means to an end.

Instead of subjecting children to the pitfalls of War, consider introducing them to more complex games like bridge, which require more thought and strategy, allowing for discussions about process, skill development, and the importance of trial and error. This way, children can learn invaluable lessons that extend beyond mere victory.

Conclusion

In summary, while competition has its place, it is crucial to ensure that children understand the value of the journey over the end result. Fostering a mindset that emphasizes personal growth and enjoyment will lead to healthier attitudes towards fitness and competition in the long run.

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Keyphrase: Turning Kids Into Winners

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