9 Ways My Adult Life Has Disrupted My ’80s Childhood Aspirations

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Reflecting on my childhood in the ’80s, it’s hard not to feel nostalgia for the vibrant dreams I had back then. I remember the thrill of rocking big hair, creating mixtapes, and having a crush on the teen heartthrob. I envisioned adulthood as a futuristic paradise, so dazzling that I would definitely need shades to handle it.

Now, while those Ray-Bans may be back in vogue, they don’t quite capture the reality I face. Adulthood has its perks, but when I look back at the dreams I held in the ’80s, it often feels underwhelming. Here are nine reasons why:

  1. My Vehicle Stays Grounded.
    I learned to drive on a 1985 manual transmission Volkswagen. My parents insisted that it was “cool,” but as I struggled to shift gears while my mom gripped the seat, I didn’t feel that way. I imagined flying in a Jetsons-style car, soaring above the ground. Instead, I’m stuck with my minivan that seems to mock my aspirations.
  2. No Robot Help.
    I truly believed that by now, every household would have a robot maid to take care of chores. I fantasized about a robot serving breakfast and cleaning my home, leaving me free to enjoy life. Alas, despite the attempts of gadgets like Roomba, I’m still on dish duty.
  3. Muscle Tone Expectations.
    In my teenage years, I never thought about fitness. My focus was on oversized fashion, not on abs or triceps. Now, in my 40s, I’m expected to fit into skinny jeans and tank tops, which would have been more manageable if I could still hide my postpartum belly under cozy sweaters from the ’80s.
  4. Lack of Extraterrestrial Companions.
    As a child, I was convinced I would have quirky alien friends like Mork or E.T. to share adventures with. Instead, I find myself without any such companions, leading to a rather mundane existence.
  5. No Moon Visits.
    I had grand plans for my 40th birthday party on the moon, believing that by now, space travel would be routine. Unfortunately, the moon remains off-limits, and my dreams of celebrating there have fizzled out.
  6. Knowledge of Food Ingredients.
    Wouldn’t it be nice to forget what we know about food? I often stand in the snack aisle reminiscing about the sugary treats of my youth, wishing I could go back to simpler times without the burden of knowledge about unhealthy ingredients.
  7. Exhausting Workouts.
    My mom was an aerobics instructor, and I looked forward to the fitness world of adulthood. Instead, I find myself spending large sums on trendy workout gear and enduring grueling sessions that leave me drained, contrasting sharply with the fun workouts of my youth.
  8. Boring Hair Styles.
    In the ’80s, hair was a canvas for creativity, with wild styles that changed frequently. Now, after years of the same hairstyle, I’ve become predictable. My one attempt at change—cutting bangs—marked a significant event, but it’s still not the adventurous hair life I envisioned.
  9. Cooking Still Takes Forever.
    I thought microwaves would revolutionize cooking, yet here I am, still roasting turkeys in the oven for hours like it’s the 1980s. My slow cooker feels like the pinnacle of modern technology in my kitchen.

In summary, while adulthood has its benefits, it often falls short of the exciting future I dreamed of in my childhood. The realities of life can sometimes feel like a letdown compared to the vibrant visions we held.

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Keyphrase: Adult Life Disrupting Childhood Dreams

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