Recently, a humorous video titled “I’m Not Your Friend, Kid,” created by the vlogger Jenna Parker, gained traction online. It humorously suggests that parents should not establish friendships with their children, as it undermines their authority and diminishes their role as disciplinarians. While I found Jenna’s antics amusing, I disagree with her underlying message.
I believe that it is entirely feasible to strike a balance between being a friend to your children while also instilling discipline and boundaries. With a decade of parenting experience, I can confidently say that fostering a strong bond of trust and openness with my kids has been crucial in equipping them with essential life skills. Without this connection, I struggle to communicate effectively with them or for them to grasp the lessons I aim to impart.
Finding Balance in Parenting
Take, for instance, my 9-year-old son, Lucas. If left to his own devices, he would leave his socks strewn across the kitchen floor indefinitely. His cereal bowl could easily linger on the table, filled with spoiled milk, for days on end. His Pokémon cards would create a chaotic landscape on the floor of his room, making it impossible for him to reach his bed. It simply hasn’t registered with him that he cannot leave his belongings scattered throughout the house and expect his parents to clean up after him.
Recently, I recognized the need to change this behavior. However, I won’t pretend to be a perfect parent who can correct this issue with a mere glare. Parenting is nuanced, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. In my efforts to encourage Lucas to tidy up after himself, I discovered that open communication was the most effective strategy.
The Power of Open Communication
It may sound surprising, but I found that discussing the issue like I would with a friend made a significant difference. I avoided trying to address the matter during the chaotic rush of the day. Instead, I chose to talk to him at night during our “special talks.” This routine allows us to connect without distractions, where we share our thoughts and feelings as equals.
During these moments, Lucas confides in me about his worries regarding school and friendships, and I share age-appropriate insights from my own life. I maintain clear boundaries, ensuring that I don’t overwhelm him with my own stress, but I believe it’s valuable for him to see me as a human being.
During one of our nightly conversations, I broached the subject of household responsibilities. I explained that it’s challenging for me to keep our home organized when he leaves his belongings everywhere. I emphasized that as he grows older, part of my role as his parent is to help him become a responsible individual. To my delight, Lucas understood and expressed his desire to be a considerate person.
Encouraging Responsibility
Since then, there have been improvements. While it’s not always perfect, when I remind him about cleaning up, I no longer receive blank stares or defiant glares. Occasionally, he may express fatigue and plead for me to take care of it, but I gently remind him that he needs to handle it himself. This approach encourages his growth and understanding of responsibility.
Ultimately, I want my children to listen and cooperate willingly, not out of fear or the desire to please me, but because they genuinely understand the importance of being a good individual. Establishing trust and open lines of communication is key to achieving this goal, and being a friend to them is an integral part of that process.
Further Insights on Parenting
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In summary, building a friendship with your children can enhance your ability to teach them valuable life lessons. Through open communication and mutual respect, you can instill responsibility and cooperation while maintaining a loving relationship.
Keyphrase: parenting friendship
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