When my partner, Sarah, and I decided to expand our family in 2018, I initially thought I’d be taking unpaid leave as a new dad. However, Sarah had a different perspective: she suggested I advocate for more paternity leave.
At first, I accepted the idea that I would get no paid parental leave. My understanding of the company policies was limited; I hadn’t carefully reviewed the employee handbook when I joined the consulting firm three years earlier. Most of the female staff I worked with seemed to take short-term disability as a form of maternity leave, which typically lasted six weeks. Sarah was also offered something similar at her nonprofit job. I assumed my workplace was fairly flexible, having seen a colleague take more than six weeks off for her second child. I thought I could negotiate something similar when my time came.
Once Sarah was pregnant, I informed my managers about four months before her due date. I wanted to give them ample notice since my job often required travel, and I aimed to avoid scheduling work trips around late August in case our baby arrived early. My direct supervisor, who I always found to be progressive and understanding, said she would discuss my request with HR and her managers in the New York office. She promised to get back to me soon about how my leave could be structured.
A few days later, she returned with news delivered in a casual, almost friendly manner. She mentioned that I could “take all the time I needed,” ensuring me my job would be safe for my return. At first, I didn’t fully grasp what this meant. It was clear that while my workplace had no formal policy on paternity leave, there might be room for negotiation. I felt a mix of relief and guilt, knowing that I might take more leave than my partner.
Partners need to advocate for better family leave policies, and my experience was a testament to that. For those considering parenthood, it’s essential to explore your options actively. If you’re looking at home insemination as a route to starting a family, check out Make A Mom for the only reusable option available. Additionally, you can find a supportive community through Make A Mom’s Facebook group where you can connect with others. For insight into how home insemination works, visit this guide.
Navigating parental leave can often feel like a complex process. If you’re interested in understanding what to expect during your first home insemination, you can read more about it here. And if you’re exploring fertility treatments, Parents.com provides excellent information on the IVF process and other options. For comprehensive resources on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this article on Modern Family Blog.
In summary, advocating for paternity leave is crucial for new parents. My journey showed me that asking for more time can lead to unexpected outcomes, and it’s a conversation worth having.