Over the past few months, I’ve been diligent with my finances. I’ve stuck to my budget, avoiding any unplanned purchases, and have been steadily saving money while also making extra payments on my mortgage. There’s something empowering about being frugal, as if I’m engaged in a personal challenge to keep my spending in check.
I’ve turned down my kids when they ask for treats, opting to cook dinner at home instead of splurging on a $70 meal followed by a movie night. I’ve seen the enticing spring clothing collections but have resisted the temptation to shop, reminding myself that my closet doesn’t need any new additions—because it truly doesn’t.
But then, without warning, the urge hits me like a tidal wave. I stroll into Target as if I’m on a mission, imagining a rock band playing in the background and a film crew capturing my every move in slow motion. In reality, it’s just me and my shopping cart, but in that moment, all sense of responsibility disappears.
Before I know it, my cart is full of face creams and trendy tank tops, all on sale at 2 for $10. I can’t resist the impulse to redecorate my bathroom with plush towels and chic bathmats. And when I grab that overpriced trail mix, it’s clear I’m in trouble.
I find myself splurging on a $30 pillow because at that moment, why not? My money is flying out the window, so I might as well make it count.
Hi, I’m Emily, and I’m a binge-shopper.
I’m not reckless enough to drain my kids’ college funds or put groceries at risk because I lost control in a store, but I do admit to indulging in spending sprees now and then. Sometimes I shop with friends, but usually, I’m solo.
I often ponder what triggers these shopping sprees. Is it stress? Is it the feeling of deprivation after weeks of frugality? It’s kind of like doing a detox and suddenly craving all the carbs you’ve denied yourself—one moment, you’re on a healthy kick, and the next, you find yourself demolishing a bag of chips over a tub of ice cream. (Raises hand.)
Perhaps it’s my rebellion against adult responsibilities and spreadsheets dictating my life. Spending a few hundred dollars makes me feel liberated and reminds me that I have the freedom to make my own choices.
I try to justify my shopping habits, convincing myself that since I’ve been so disciplined for months, a spending spree is well-deserved. Yes, I know it sounds irrational. Yes, I do it anyway. But I can’t deny that it’s exhilarating. Mostly. There are moments of guilt, a nagging voice reminding me that my kids have plenty already and that I shouldn’t be buying excessive amounts of Double-Stuf Oreos just for a decorative display in a glass jar on the counter.
Sure, I might be making excuses for my behavior—okay, I definitely am—but I believe in rewarding myself for being financially responsible most of the time. If that means indulging in a little online shopping or wandering the aisles of Target and Costco every now and then, so be it. It’s just how I roll, and many of my fellow moms seem to operate the same way.
Then, like clockwork, I reel myself back in, and all returns to normal. Maybe one day I’ll master moderation, but until then, I’ll keep saving until I wake up one morning feeling like I’ve hit the jackpot and launch into this relentless cycle all over again.
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In summary, I embrace my binge-spending habits, knowing that it’s part of my personality. While I may indulge now and then, I always come back to reality and resume my responsible adulting when the shopping spree is over.