After I hit 40, I unexpectedly experienced a surge in my sexual desire. Sure, we’ve all heard the phrase “40 is the new 20,” but I couldn’t disagree more. At 20, I was riddled with insecurities and had no real sense of my identity. I often silenced that inner voice urging me to express my desires. So what if I had a fast metabolism and no gray hairs back then?
Now, in my 40s, I find myself continually evolving and embracing my age. This newfound self-acceptance has led to a remarkable change in my confidence and, as a delightful side effect, my libido. And let me tell you, it hit me like a tidal wave. It wasn’t an instantaneous transformation on my birthday, but it came soon after. I realized the importance of making each moment count; none of us knows how much time we have left. As I started to embrace my insecurities regarding my looks and personality, my sex drive skyrocketed, like a cheetah on the hunt.
I vividly recall sharing with my friend, “I’m constantly masturbating now. It feels amazing, but am I going overboard?” The real issue was that I simply didn’t have enough time to explore all my newfound desires. This blossoming love for sex comes from an authentic acceptance of myself, something I’ve only recently discovered. Plus, my kids are getting older, which means I’m no longer in constant demand. They’re becoming more self-sufficient and not always needing to be held or entertained.
The Clarity of Self-Acceptance
As women in their 40s, we develop a keen sense of what we will and won’t accept. We can spot nonsense from a mile away, which makes it easier to walk away from toxic situations. This clarity gives us more energy to feel sexy, focus on self-care, and stop worrying about what Sally from the PTA thinks of our leopard-print heels.
We become more attuned to our preferences in every aspect of life—be it hairstyle, wardrobe, or even favorite intimate positions. With full acceptance of ourselves, asking for what we want, purchasing sexy lingerie, or exploring adult toys becomes second nature. Sure, I did these things when I was younger, but I felt silly and insecure about it. Now, I embrace it wholeheartedly. Adult toys and lingerie can elevate pleasure from good to absolutely mind-blowing. And let’s be real: I quite enjoy having exceptional sex in between baking cookies and mopping the floor.
Research on Sexuality in Women Over 40
I’m not alone in this experience. Many women find that turning 40 ignites new sexual fantasies and desires. A study reported in Time involving 827 women revealed that those past their prime fertility years but not yet in menopause were the most sexually active. It also found that women aged 27-45 have more sexual fantasies than younger counterparts and feel more liberated. The underlying reason? Many women simply become more comfortable in their skin as they age, unlocking a new, exciting world.
Can I get an “Amen”? As I contemplate how attuned I feel to my sexuality now, I can only imagine what 50 will bring. I’m eagerly looking forward to it.
Conclusion
In summary, embracing self-acceptance in your 40s can significantly enhance your sexual drive and overall satisfaction. As women grow more confident and self-aware, they might discover an exciting new chapter in their sexuality.
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