Last night, as I settled into the bathtub with a cold beverage and a glossy magazine (no judgment, please), I felt a peculiar sensation: a small, rubbery figure clinging to my leg.
“Who are you, little plastic stranger? A toy from a fast-food restaurant? A bizarre hybrid of something else?”
I placed it on the tub’s edge alongside an assortment of other toys and noticed another curious sight: a doll holding hands with a vintage action figure, her chewed fingers entwined with his as if she might giggle at any moment while flipping her tangled hair.
What a strange scene this was, and how fortunate I am to be the mother of such wonderfully odd beings! In that moment, I was overwhelmed with love for my daughters. I couldn’t help but reflect on how different my life would be without them—how empty the walls of our home would feel without their drawings, photos, and the various scuffs from their playful antics.
I realized I could not possibly love my partner as much if I hadn’t witnessed him dressing dolls or gently carrying our sleeping children from the car to bed. Life would be dreadfully mundane without the glittery stickers stuck to my socks or the tiny earrings that seem to find their way into the most unexpected places.
As I observed my girls playing “house,” I found myself wishing they could remain in that magical world forever, where plastic ice cream never melts, and couch cushions transform into everlasting minivans. I held my daughter’s superhero cape and her doll, feeling inadequate to prepare them for the real world beyond their playhouse.
I have no expertise in sleep training dolls, navigating romantic relationships, or managing social dynamics, and that thought terrifies me. However, I can share what I’ve learned through my own mix of errors, joys, and life lessons. So, I decided to compile a list for my husband:
“Kevin, if I should meet an untimely end due to an accident with a plastic toy or a rogue piece of doll clothing, please pass this collection of thoughts to our daughters from their eccentric, loving, and slightly mad mother:
- Use a baby wipe to remove deodorant stains from your clothing, a dull razor for sweater pilling, and a dryer sheet to dust blinds. For everything else, vinegar or beer is your answer—one for cleaning, the other for tolerating the process.
- Life may not always be a sweet pink Starburst; sometimes, it will be orange or even yellow. But any day that isn’t butterscotch is worth living.
- Your heart will facebreaks. I wish I could shield you from it, but heartbreak is part of life, as I’ve experienced it multiple times. Just remember, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never felt the depth of a Taylor Swift song.
- Always shake the ketchup before pouring to avoid that strange tomato liquid. And for the love of all things holy, don’t watch scary movies before bedtime.
- Always express gratitude. Say “thank you” when someone holds the door for you and “bless you” when someone sneezes. However, if a stranger offers you a Jell-O shot and says, “Back that thing up,” feel free to respond with a firm “no thanks.”
- Avoid situations involving the phrase “Girl, hold my earrings.”
- Social media is often a highlight reel, showcasing the best moments rather than the mundane reality. Enjoy the snapshots, but remember that true stories are often more complex.
- Never consume anything called jungle juice or liquids served from unsanitary places, like fraternity basements.
- Don’t text and drive, and avoid distractions while driving, but feel free to sing your heart out.
- Have a nude bra handy—just not nude selfies.
- Stay true to your quirky selves. Embrace your weirdness, curiosity, and humor, and please always remain mine.”
This reflection serves as a reminder to cherish the moments we share, even when they feel chaotic. For more insights into building a family, check out resources like Hopkins Medicine’s Fertility Center for valuable information.
Summary
This heartfelt letter encapsulates life lessons and quirky advice from a mother to her daughters, emphasizing the importance of embracing individuality and navigating life’s complexities with love and humor.
Keyphrase: Random wisdom for daughters
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