Every experienced mom will tell you that there’s no real way to gear up for the rollercoaster ride of motherhood. You can dive into every parenting book out there or scour the internet for the latest advice. Sure, there are videos to watch and pamphlets at your doctor’s office that you might throw into your bag. Whether you read them or use them as makeshift tissues, they won’t prepare you for the time your child decides to unleash a tidal wave of vomit on you while simultaneously unleashing “poop soup” from their diaper.
Even the Boy Scouts, with their motto of “always be prepared,” would have a hard time with this gig. The truth is, no amount of preparation can fully equip you for this journey. That said, I did find some of my past habits surprisingly helpful in navigating the chaos of motherhood. Here’s how my personal shortcomings made the transition a bit more manageable:
1. Cleaning Isn’t My Strong Suit
I’m not a total slob, but cleaning isn’t exactly my strong suit. How often do I really need to vacuum, anyway? I’ve perfected the art of creating a “clean” pile of laundry on the couch and a “dirty” pile by the washer. This lack of housekeeping finesse has made me more than ready for the constant messes that come with kids. I’ve seen worse on my way to the couch.
2. Sleepless Nights are My Norm
I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since the early 2000s. Stress, anxiety, and the never-ending cycle of keeping up with everyone have kept me wide awake long before I had kids. So, when the sleepless nights of parenthood hit, I barely flinched. It’s just another chapter in my ongoing saga of sleep deprivation.
3. Clothes Shopping? No Thanks
Shopping for clothes has never been my favorite pastime. The thought of trying on outfit after outfit only to leave empty-handed is exhausting. I’ve always opted for the simple jeans and t-shirt combo, which has now seamlessly transitioned into yoga pants (thankfully available online). Comfort over style? Yes, please!
4. Toilets are My Personal Hell
Let’s be honest: toilets are gross. They exist to deal with grossness, and I’ve always dreaded cleaning them. Luckily, my kids are still in diapers, so I don’t have to tackle two additional little potty trainers just yet. I’ll gladly keep them in diapers until they’re ready for kindergarten!
5. Exercise? What’s That?
The mere thought of working out makes me want to take a nap. Gyms and trendy workout programs sound exhausting just to think about. Now, I have the perfect excuse for avoiding exercise — I’m too busy with my kids! So, I get to enjoy the benefits of feeling less guilty about not working out while avoiding the sweat.
6. Makeup Skills? Minimal
My makeup skills are practically non-existent. But with kids in tow, who has the time? Anyone noticing my dark circles and lack of color can just chalk it up to “Mom life.” The truth is, no one expects a perfectly polished mom, so I’m off the hook there.
While nothing can make conversations about the birds and the bees any easier, and I’m still bracing myself for when my son decides to wield my tampons as lightsabers, my past habits have made this motherhood journey a bit smoother. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to shove the clean laundry pile to the side before I dive into a four-hour quest for sleep.
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Summary
This article humorously explores how the author’s past experiences and shortcomings helped her adapt to the chaotic world of motherhood. From cleaning habits to sleepless nights, her flaws inadvertently prepared her for the challenges of parenting, making her journey a bit easier.
Keyphrase: Flaws Prepared Me for Motherhood
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